A few words about the power of suggestion and its important role in the counselling process.

In Pairs
Recalling the work of yesterday and looking forward to today.

Session 12

This was part two of session 8. Session began with client saying she had had qualms about whether she could share in front of the group. She said it was like having a sealed cave inside her that she was frightened to enter. She concluded the group would be supportive. She then told the story of her completion of school and going to university, her religious faith and doubts around that time, falling in love with a person who resolved these dilemmas for her at the time, the love being not socially approved and kept secret, then the  lover having a medical emergency, then a period of difficulties, then the lover dying and client experiencing profound grief and emptiness. The therapist facilitated the description, making empathic reflection of each addition of information. As the client approached the description of the grief she began to sob and the therapist held her, permitting the sobbing to be more intense. After this emotional release the client felt lighter. Client and therapist discussed how the therapist's illness a year ago had re-stimulated these feelings for the client.


Points of Interest

1. Facilitating as accompaniment, acknowledging each step in the client’s description so that client has a sense that therapist is still closely with client.
2. Use of humour. At several point client and therapist shared little ironies that amused without breaking the main flow of the client’s gathering emotion.
3. When to touch/hold the client. This is firstly an issue of sensitivity to what is acceptable to client and then of timing. Contact too early may stop the client’s flow or give a subliminal message that emotion should be avoided or is dangerous. When it is established that the emotion is accepted, contact may facilitate greater release.


Session 13

Client recounted the story of her life so far including difficulties in her family, especially her father’s minimal involvement and mother’s burdened life. Client was the youngest child. When she left home she went into a convent. Her zealous practice bred both jealousy and concern about her ascetism possibly damaging her health. Eventually she left the convent. In due course she joined a Buddhist community and a similar dynamic arose.


Points of Interest
1. The whole session was taken with the telling of the story.
2. The client wanted to reveal her life dilemma - koan - but she also wanted to tell the story to this therapist/teacher, since the story reveals the type of situation she gets into vis-a-vis teachers.
3. The client came forward warmed up by the previous client who had spoken of a profound grief. We can therefore surmise that there is a grief at the core of this case too. Sadness recurrently appeared in the client’s face but the client has a habit of dismissing it - in a sense, sacrificing herself.
4. The client is trying to solve life problems by immersion in the religious life - whether Christian or Buddhist - and this leads her to be highly conscientious. This conscientiousness, however, can easily generate dynamics in the rest of the practitioner group, (a) in those who envy her or feel rivalrous and (b) in those who fear for her health which can sometimes be put at risk by her zeal.


Session 14

Client talked about anxiety about coming to see the therapist which had been partly her own decision and partly prompted by pressure from her friends in the group. She talked of the struggle she had had breaking free from her family of origin, first by joining a community that gave her a degree of independence and then breaking away further. This latter move left her alone, experiencing the pain of loneliness. Hence the dilemma of aloneness vs togetherness, each of which generates its own problems. This led to identification of a pool of anxiety in her that was then re-labelled as anger. She experimented with feeling this emotion in different postures and arrived at a sense that it was not just a liability but also a source of power that was enabling her to achieve her independence.


Session 15

Client reported various incidents in public spaces where his interactions with female strangers caused misunderstanding and a sense that he was being regarded as a potential abuser. He was evidently experiencing anger and also sadness and this sadness intensified as the session continued. The session contintued with him talking about fear of women, especially young women, then to difficulties in his relation with his 19 year old daughter and hence to talking about his relations with his mother who died 25 years ago and thus to identifying a mix of positive and negative emotions - great love and great resentment. Identifying this ambivalence enabled the client to make many connections with his present situation and the incidents he had earlier reported, and also a reduction in the tension in his body.

Points of Interest

1. Session 15 involved breaking a taboo in that it is common for women to talk about fearing men but not so usual for men to talk about fearing women. Thus it was important for the therapist to take the matter in a deeply serious way so that the client experienced having a safe space in which to reveal firstly the nature of the problem and then his more delicate feelings and sadness.

2. How to overcome self consciousness: The chief way to overcome self-consciousness is to keep attention strongly upon the work in hand and the need of the other person.
3. A member of the group reported that case 15 had touched her deeply because she could imagine her own son twenty years hence saying much the same as this client and having similarly ambivalent feelings about herself.
4. As one progresses in ability and experience one gets more and more detail from each small clue in the presentation of the client. One can then more easily deduce what lies behind the presenting problem.
5. The therapist (a) makes an empathic connection, taking what the client says in full seriousness (b)  observes minutely and gives evidence to the client of what has been heard and understood, and (c) keeps track so that it is possible to draw attention to points shared earlier that throw light upon later revelations.
6. All 15 sessions were done on cushions on the floor. The floor in this case was smooth tiles which facilitated easy movement of the cushions. This arrangement had the advantage of making it easy for the therapist to move closer or further away, move to one side or remain face to face, and to transition between talking therapy and action work. This facility in movement adds an extra dimension to the communication.
7. Sometimes the therapist is close, tender and emotionally supportive. At other times the therapst is a rock, providing safety by stability. These transitions depend upon an intuitive sense of the client's need at the time
8. Sometimes a client asks directly for advice. However, if the therapist contrives advice when really she does not know the answer she ends up in a false position, undermines the client's confidence and is serving her own ego rather than the cleint's actual need. Better to say something like, "So that's your question at the moment... and together we're trying to find the answer," or, "Well, what I've heard you say so far is..." so that the initiative stays with the client.

Brief Interviews with the Trainer

Graduation Ceremony

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20170825 Course 3 Day 5 – Final Day of 15 Day Training

Posted by David Brazier on August 25, 2017 at 13:46 in KOREA 2017

 

https://eleusis.ning.com/group/korea/forum/topics/course-3-day-5-final-day-of-15-day-training

 

Translated into Korean by Jaesung Kim

 

변역: 김재성

 

A few words about the power of suggestion and its important role in the counselling process.

제안의 힘과 상담 과정에서 중요한 역할에 대한 몇 마디.

 

In Pairs

Recalling the work of yesterday and looking forward to today.

 

둘 씩 짝을 이루어

어제의 작업을 돌아보고 오늘 무엇을 할지 기대하기

 

Session 12

This was part two of session 8. Session began with client saying she had had qualms about whether she could share in front of the group. She said it was like having a sealed cave inside her that she was frightened to enter. She concluded the group would be supportive. She then told the story of her completion of school and going to university, her religious faith and doubts around that time, falling in love with a person who resolved these dilemmas for her at the time, the love being not socially approved and kept secret, then the lover having a medical emergency, then a period of difficulties, then the lover dying and client experiencing profound grief and emptiness. The therapist facilitated the description, making empathic reflection of each addition of information. As the client approached the description of the grief she began to sob and the therapist held her, permitting the sobbing to be more intense. After this emotional release the client felt lighter. Client and therapist discussed how the therapist's illness a year ago had re-stimulated these feelings for the client.

 

세션 12

이것은 세션 8의 두 번째 부분이었다. 세션은 내담자가 그룹 앞에서 공유 할 수 있는지 여부에 대해 확신을 갖고 있다고 말한 것으로 시작되었다. 그녀는 그녀의 내부에 밀폐된 동굴이 있어서 그녀가 들어가기가 두려워했다고 말했다. 그녀는 이 그룹이 지지적일 것이라고 결론지었다. 그런 다음 그녀는 학교 졸업과 대학에 가는 이야기, 종교적 신념과 그 시간에 대한 의구심, 그 당시 딜레마를 해결한 사람과 사랑에 빠졌다. 사랑은 사회적으로 승인되지 않고 비밀로 유지되었다. 그 다음 연인은 의료적 응급 상황을 겪고 난 후 어려움을 겪다가 연인은 죽었고 내담자는 심한 비탄과 공허감을 경험한다. 치료자는 묘사를 용이하게 하여 정보를 추가할 때마다 공감을 나타냈다. 내담자가 슬픔에 대한 묘사에 접근했을 때 그녀는 흐느껴 울기 시작했고 치료자는 그녀를 붙잡아 흐느껴 울기가 더 강렬해질 수 있게 허용했다. 이 감정의 방출 후에 내담자는 더 가벼워 느꼈다. 내담자와 치료자는 1 년 전에 치료자의 병이 어떻게 내담자에게 이러한 감정을 자극했는지에 대해 논의했다.

 

Points of Interest

 

1. Facilitating as accompaniment, acknowledging each step in the client’s description so that client has a sense that therapist is still closely with client.

2. Use of humour. At several point client and therapist shared little ironies that amused without breaking the main flow of the client’s gathering emotion.

3. When to touch/hold the client. This is firstly an issue of sensitivity to what is acceptable to client and then of timing. Contact too early may stop the client’s flow or give a subliminal message that emotion should be avoided or is dangerous. When it is established that the emotion is accepted, contact may facilitate greater release.

 

관심 있는 점들

 

1. 내담자의 설명의 각 단계를 인정하면서 동반자로서 촉진한다면, 상담자가 여전히 내담자와 긴밀한 관계를 유지하고 있다는 느낌을 갖도록 한다.

2. 유머 사용. 여러 측면에서 내담자와 치료자는 내담자의 감정을 모으는 주요 흐름을 깨지 않으면서 즐겁게 만드는 작은 역설(아이러니)을 공유했다.

3. 내담자를 움직이고 버텨주기 위할 때. 이것은 첫째로 내담자가 받아들일 수 있는 것에 대한 감수성과 타이밍을 결정하는 문제이다. 접촉이 너무 일찍 일어나면 내담자의 흐름이 멈추거나 감정을 피하거나 위험하다는 잠재적인 메시지를 전할 수도 있다. 감정이 수용되는 것이 확립되면, 접촉은 더 큰 방출을 촉진 할 수 있다.

 

Session 13

 

Client recounted the story of her life so far including difficulties in her family, especially her father’s minimal involvement and mother’s burdened life. Client was the youngest child. When she left home she went into a convent. Her zealous practice bred both jealousy and concern about her ascetism possibly damaging her health. Eventually she left the convent. In due course she joined a Buddhist community and a similar dynamic arose.

 

세션 13

 

내담자는 가족의 어려움, 특히 아버지의 최소한의 개입과 어머니의 부담 있는 생활을 포함하여 지금까지의 삶에 대한 이야기를 들려줬다. 내담자는 막내였다. 그녀가 집을 떠나 수녀원에 들어갔다. 그녀의 열정적인 행동을 보고 공동체의 일부 구성원은 질투와 그녀의 고행에 대한 염려를 자아냈다. 결국 그녀는 수녀원을 떠났다. 결국 그녀는 불교공동체에 들어갔고 비슷한 역동이 생겨났다.

 

Points of Interest

1. The whole session was taken with the telling of the story.

2. The client wanted to reveal her life dilemma - koan - but she also wanted to tell the story to this therapist/teacher, since the story reveals the type of situation she gets into vis-a-vis teachers.

3. The client came forward warmed up by the previous client who had spoken of a profound grief. We can therefore surmise that there is a grief at the core of this case too. Sadness recurrently appeared in the client’s face but the client has a habit of dismissing it - in a sense, sacrificing herself.

4. The client is trying to solve life problems by immersion in the religious life - whether Christian or Buddhist - and this leads her to be highly conscientious. This conscientiousness, however, can easily generate dynamics in the rest of the practitioner group, (a) in those who envy her or feel rivalrous and (b) in those who fear for her health which can sometimes be put at risk by her zeal.

 

관심 있는 점들

1. 전체 세션은 이야기를 말하는 것으로 할애되었다.

2. 내담자는 그녀의 인생 딜레마 - 공안 – 를 밝히기를 원했지만, 이 치료자 / 스승에게 이야기를 전하고 싶어 했고, 따라서 이야기는 그녀가 스승과 관련된 상황의 유형을 보여준다.

3. 내담자는 심한 슬픔을 이야기한 이전의 내담자에 의해 예열되었다. 따라서 우리는 이 사건의 핵심에 슬픔이 있음을 추측 할 수 있다. 슬픔은 내담자의 얼굴에 반복적으로 나타났지만 내담자는 자신을 희생하는 의미에서 이를 묵살하는 습관이 있다.

4. 내담자는 기독교이든 불교이든 상관없이 종교 생활에 몰입하여 삶의 문제를 해결하려고 노력하고 있으며, 이는 그녀를 매우 양심적인 사람으로 만든다. 그러나 이 양심은 (a) 그녀를 부러워하거나 경쟁심을 느끼는 사람들에게서, 그리고 (b) 그녀의 열정으로 때로는 위험에 처할 수 있는 그녀의 건강을 두려워하는 수행자 그룹의 나머지 사람들에게 쉽게 역동을 생성 할 수 있다.

 

Session 14

 

Client talked about anxiety about coming to see the therapist which had been partly her own decision and partly prompted by pressure from her friends in the group. She talked of the struggle she had breaking free from her family of origin, first by joining a community that gave her a degree of independence and then breaking away further. This latter move left her alone, experiencing the pain of loneliness. Hence the dilemma of aloneness vs togetherness, each of which generates its own problems. This led to identification of a pool of anxiety in her that was then re-labelled as anger. She experimented with feeling this emotion in different postures and arrived at a sense that it was not just a liability but also a source of power that was enabling her to achieve her independence.

 

세션 14

 

내담자는 부분적으로 그녀 자신의 결정이었고 부분적으로 그룹의 친구들로부터의 압력에 의해 자극 받아 치료자를 보러 오는 것에 대한 불안에 대해 이야기했다. 그녀는 자신의 원가족으로부터 자유로워진 분투에 대해 이야기를 나누었다. 먼저 자신에게 어느 정도 독립을 부여한 공동체에 들어갔고, 더 나아가 그 공동체에서 나오게 되었다. 이 후자의 움직임은 홀로 남게 했고, 외로움의 고통을 겪었다. 따라서 홀로 있음과 함께 있음의 딜레마는 각각의 문제를 발생시킨다. 이것은 그녀의 불안의 동일시로 이어졌고 분노로 다시 명명되었다. 그녀는 다른 자세(일어섬)로 이 감정을 느끼는 실험을 했으며 그것이 단지 부담일 뿐만 아니라 그녀의 독립성을 달성 할 수 있는 힘의 원천이라는 감각에 도달했다.

 

Session 15

 

Client reported various incidents in public spaces where his interactions with female strangers caused misunderstanding and a sense that he was being regarded as a potential abuser. He was evidently experiencing anger and also sadness and this sadness intensified as the session continued. The session contintued with him talking about fear of women, especially young women, then to difficulties in his relation with his 19 year old daughter and hence to talking about his relations with his mother who died 25 years ago and thus to identifying a mix of positive and negative emotions - great love and great resentment. Identifying this ambivalence enabled the client to make many connections with his present situation and the incidents he had earlier reported, and also a reduction in the tension in his body.

 

세션 15

 

내담자는 공공장소에서 낯선 여성들과의 상호 작용이 오해를 일으키고 잠재적인 학대자로 여겨지고 있다는 느낌을 받는 다양한 사건을 보고했다. 그는 분명히 분노와 슬픔을 겪고 있었고 이 슬픔은 세션이 계속됨에 따라 심화되었다. 이 세션은 여성, 특히 젊은 여성에 대한 두려움에 대해 이야기하고 19세 딸과의 관계에서 어려움을 겪었고, 25 년 전에 사망한 어머니와의 관계에 대해 이야기하고 긍정적 인 감정과 부정적인 감정 – 큰 사랑과 큰 분함을 확인했다. 이러한 양면성을 확인함으로써 내담자는 자신의 현재 상황과 그가 이전에 보고 한 사건들과 많은 관련을 맺을 수 있었으며, 또한 신체의 긴장도를 줄일 수 있었다.

 

Points of Interest

관심 있는 점들

 

1. Session 15 involved breaking a taboo in that it is common for women to talk about fearing men but not so usual for men to talk about fearing women. Thus it was important for the therapist to take the matter in a deeply serious way so that the client experienced having a safe space in which to reveal firstly the nature of the problem and then his more delicate feelings and sadness.

1. 15 번 세션은 여성이 남성을 두려워하는 것에 대해 이야기하는 것이 일반적이지만 남자가 여성을 두려워하는 것에 대해 이야기하는 것은 흔하지 않다는 점에서 금기를 깨는 것이 포함되었다. 따라서 치료자가 문제를 심각하게 받아들여서 내담자가 문제의 본질과 그 후에 더 섬세한 감정과 슬픔을 드러내는 안전한 공간을 경험하는 것이 중요했다.

 

2. How to overcome self consciousness: The chief way to overcome self-consciousness is to keep attention strongly upon the work in hand and the need of the other person.

2. 자아 의식을 극복하는 방법 : 자의식을 극복하는 가장 중요한 방법은 당면한 일과 다른 사람의 욕구에 강하게 주의를 기울이는 것이다.

 

3. A member of the group reported that case 15 had touched her deeply because she could imagine her own son twenty years hence saying much the same as this client and having similarly ambivalent feelings about herself.

3. 한 그룹 구성원은 15번째 케이스가 20년 후의 자신의 아들로 상상할 수 있었기 때문에 그녀가 깊이 감동한 사실을 보고했다. 따라서 이 내담자와 똑같이 자신에 대해 비슷한 양가감정을 말한다.

 

4. As one progresses in ability and experience one gets more and more detail from each small clue in the presentation of the client. One can then more easily deduce what lies behind the presenting problem.

4. 능력과 경험이 향상됨에 따라 내담자의 제시 속의 각각 작은 단서에서 더 많은 세부 사항을 얻는다. 그러면 제시된 문제 뒤에 무엇이 있는지 쉽게 추론 할 수 있다.

 

5. The therapist (a) makes an empathic connection, taking what the client says in full seriousness (b) observes minutely and gives evidence to the client of what has been heard and understood, and (c) keeps track so that it is possible to draw attention to points shared earlier that throw light upon later revelations.

5. 치료자 (a)는 내담자가 말한 것을 아주 진지하게 들으면서 공감적 연결을 만들고 (b) 미세하게 관찰하고 내담자에게 듣고 이해한 것을 증거로 제공하며 (c) 내담자를 계속 따라가게 되면 나중에 드러낸 사실에 빛을 비추어 주는, 이전에 공유된 점들에 주의를 기울일 수 있게 된다.

 

6. All 15 sessions were done on cushions on the floor. The floor in this case was smooth tiles which facilitated easy movement of the cushions. This arrangement had the advantage of making it easy for the therapist to move closer or further away, move to one side or remain face to face, and to transition between talking therapy and action work. This facility in movement adds an extra dimension to the communication.

6. 15회의 모든 세션은 방바닥의 방석 위에서 이루어졌다. 이 경우의 방바닥은 방석을 쉽게 움직일 수 있게 촉진하는 매끈한 바닥이었다. 이 배열은 치료자가 가까이에 또는 더 멀리 이동하거나, 한쪽으로 이동하거나 얼굴을 마주 보고, 말하기 치료와 행동 작업 사이를 전환하기 쉽게 만드는 장점이 있었다. 이렇게 움직임이 가능한 시설은 의사소통에 특별한 차원을 더한다.

 

7. Sometimes the therapist is close, tender and emotionally supportive. At other times the therapst is a rock, providing safety by stability. These transitions depend upon an intuitive sense of the client's need at the time

7. 때때로 치료자는 가깝고, 부드럽고 감정적인 지지자이다. 다른 시간에 치료자는 고정성에 의해 안정을 제공하는 바위이다. 이러한 전환은 당시 내담자의 욕구에 대한 직관적인 감각에 달려 있다.

 

8. Sometimes a client asks directly for advice. However, if the therapist contrives advice when really she does not know the answer she ends up in a false position, undermines the client's confidence and is serving her own ego rather than the cleint's actual need. Better to say something like, "So that's your question at the moment... and together we're trying to find the answer," or, "Well, what I've heard you say so far is..." so that the initiative stays with the client.

8. 때로는 내담자가 직접 조언을 구하는 경우가 있다. 그러나 치료자가 실제로 대답을 모르는 상태에서 조언을 하면 치료자는 잘못된 입장에 처하게 되고 내담자의 신뢰를 손상시킨다 그리고 내담자의 실제 욕구보다는 자신의 에고에 봉사한다. 그럴 때는 다음과 같이 말하는 것이 더 좋다. "그것은 그 순간의 당신의 문제입니다. 우리는 함께 그 답을 찾으려고 노력하고 있습니다." 또는 "글쎄요, 지금까지 네가 들었던 말은 ..." 그러면 주도권은 내담자와 함께 있게 된다.

 

Brief Interviews with the Trainer

지도자와의 간략한 면담들

 

Graduation Ceremony

졸업식

A miraculous and beautiful workshop has been completed. An end of something becomes a certain  beginning of another thing. That is life.Isn't it? Personally I feel like I have just got out of a long tunnel, and that should be a blessing by the Buddha or by other Bodhisattvas. Yet there is a cave far away that I would like to see but I am not so much afraid of, because I belive in my Dharma friends, guides, and masters like you. 

Thank you again for your righteous efforts to serve peole, Dr. David Brazier. The workshop is comleted, but its processes per se are flowing along its own pace and path for those who took part in.  Theory and practice seem to be identical in Your School of Buddhist psycological counselling/therapy. It was a special Summer Retreat for me: I was able to see many layered levels of complex life and to learn how to use them all as resources of energy and strength in one's life. Bye now, and please take a good care of yourself for the rest of the year and see you next time. 

"Theory and practice seem to be identical" - Here therapy is practice, a samadhi with purpose, an interpersonal meditation that sustains the heart, promotes maturity, permits tenderness and brings love and liberation.

Yes! theory is the ground or base of our action. We start to move based on some assuptions or information, consciously or  or uncousciously.  In my opinion, that is a theory. A theory changes due to time and space, thus not permanent,  not consistant, thus, changeable and correctable all the times like sociological theories. On the other hand, practice is the counselling, therapy, cultivation of mind, helping, which include everything we do in the Buddhism to transform ourselves to get better and freer. In Your School, your theory is grounded on your practice, not generalized one, so that your theory, in fact, is practice theory, which stems directly from your practice. That's why I believe your theory and practice are same, consistant, identical, symbiotic. 

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MY MEDICAL CONDITION

Posted by David Brazier on June 26, 2019 at 18:04 6 Comments

My medical condition continues to be a mystery. It is clear that I do not have any of the big nasty things - brain tumour, cracked skull, stroke, etc - as these have been ruled out by MRI investigation. Nonetheless I continue to have persistent, continuous head pain that varies in intensity and I become exhausted by the least effort so that I am functioning like an invalid incapable of doing very much. There is always a possibility that the whole syndrome is a…

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Grace.

Posted by Dayamay Dunsby on June 2, 2019 at 1:02 4 Comments

“Do we know what it means to be struck by grace? It does not mean that we suddenly believe that God exists, or that Jesus is the saviour, or that the Bible contains the truth. Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark Valley of a meaningless and empty life. It strikes us when we feel that our separation is deeper than usual, because we have violated another life, a life which we loved, or from which we were estranged. It strikes us… Continue

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Posted by Geeta Chari on April 26, 2019 at 22:13 3 Comments

This is a short video of a Buddhist monk and his family. 

It raised questions on parenting and Buddhism - does detachment (or perhaps quietism), as practiced here, lead to demotivation and disengagement with the world around one?

His children find the detachment practised by the monk disquieting. They appreciate the irony of detachment, which is supposed to…

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Zero Limits

Posted by Dayamay Dunsby on April 20, 2019 at 14:13 0 Comments

 

 

 

I have recently been made aware of a practice known as Ho’ponopono. Ho’ponopono is an ancient Hawaiian healing practice, based on universal forgiveness, that was rediscovered and popularised in the 80s. A man called Joe Vitale(Hawaiian I think)  became enchanted by the practice after his daughter was healed from an…

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