"We miss you already" - these were the last words of the speech by Donald Tusk as he acknowledged receiving the UK's letter triggering withdrawal from the European Union.

So, the Brexit process is beginning. When, many years ago, my parents split up, it was at the behest of my father. My mother did not want the separation and continued to be against it until her dying day. However, to the observer, it was apparent that after the separation my father carried on his life in much the same manner as he had ever done, whereas my mother blossomed. She found new friends, new activities, a new way of life and had a much richer existence altogether than she would have had coupled with my father. Could it be that this personal experience may be affecting the way I am seeing the Brexit phenomenon?

I suspect that Brexit will prove to have been a much better thing for the EU than it will be for Britain. Britain is leaving so that it does not have to change. It can go on being the kind of country it has always been with all the attitudes and customs that made it so difficult for it to fit in to the EU. There will be less immigrants, especially less talented ones. Already the number of people with good qualifications coming to the country has dropped markedly and some existing ones have left. During the debate there was much suggestion that the National Health Service could be better off after Brexit but it seems the most immediate effect will be a substantial loss of doctors and nurses. With a less cosmopolitan country attitudes will become narrower and progress will become more difficult.

Britain has always been a trading nation and it will survive and may find some new trading partners. A lower pound will encourage exports. However, it also makes the country vulnerable to overseas speculators and asset strippers. Much is said about the importance of Britain being able to make its own decisions, but there is no prima facie reason to suppose that the decisions made will be any better for that. Mrs May wants an independent Britain to be forward looking, but I fear that quite the opposite will be the result.

The rest of the EU broadly regrets Britain leaving - “we miss you already” - but, in fact, Brexit will tend to bring them together, give them a common cause, make them take the task of moving Europe forward more seriously,  and also, in many ways, make it easier to do so. Britain was always going to resist the centralising tendency that will now become more prominent and which is essential if the EU is to prosper and develop. There has been a change of tone in international dialogue since the arrivals of Brexit and Trump. The other day Jean-Claude Juncker made the comment that if Trump did not stop advocating that other countries leave the EU, he might start advocating that large states like Texas should leave the USA. Now it is not likely that any other state will leave the EU soon nor is it likely that the US will break up, but the fact that people in the positions of Trump and Juncker are saying such things tells us that the tone of discourse is changing. More fighting talk from the EU is likely to be quite consequential. It was a sign of greater confidence in Europe and a way of telling the US "Don't talk down to us - we can play that game too."

The Brexit negotiations will start with an argument about how much Britain must pay toward the things it has already committed to that it is now trying to walk away from. Hard-line Brexiteers will say that it should not pay anything, but this will simply scupper the negotiations completely. This issue will, presumably, cause a good deal of dissension within the UK as well as between the UK and Europe.  However, in the long run it is not such things as competitive advantage or who pays who what that will make the crucial difference. It is the impact upon spirit and morale that will have the deeper effect. It does appear that the UK can hardly escape being on the back foot in these negotiations. The EU can do without Britain and has no need to concede anything. The British negotiators actually have very few cards to play. In that respect they are like the light brigade charging into the cannons - it can look very glorious, but there is no chance of winning. The EU will set the agenda and say what is possible and the UK will accept it or leave with nothing and whichever of these two it does there will be bitter remonstration within the UK in the aftermath, especially as a general election will shortly follow.

It may seem almost incidental, but another major stumbling block will be Gibraltar. Spain is never going to agree to any deal that does not involve a substantial concession by Britain over the sovereignty of Gibraltar. However Gibraltar voted even more overwhelmingly than Scotland against Brexit for that very reason. (In moments of wilder fantasy, one wonders if Scotland, N Ireland and Gibralter could form a new united kingdom, excluding England).

The whole business will be financially disadvantageous to the UK and the pound will probably fall further as the consequences become clearer, but it will be the sense of losing that will strike more deeply into British pride. There has to be a danger that this will set up a long term antagonism that will be difficult to overcome. The British press will somehow have to make it seem that it is the EU's fault that Britain comes off badly and this may worsen the xenophobia that set this process going in the first place. Not a happy prospect. However, on the EU side, any such antagonism would not really be disadvantageous. History shows that having a hostile neighbour does wonders for solidarity and this is exactly what the EU needs at this stage. I hope it does not go that way, but it has to be a distinct possibility; one that few people are likely to discuss openly at this stage for fear of rocking the boat at such a critical time.

Not much has happened yet. The British government has said it wants simultaneous discussion of trade, security and terms of leaving. Within 24 hours the EU has said that is not how it is going to be done and the UK has no choice but to do as it is told. That pretty much sets the tone. What a sad business it is.

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I have a great idea. Well, actually it's your idea. Or maybe it's... if Scotland, North Ireland and Gibralter all get together and insist on leaving Britain and rejoining the EU — and then make the offer that they will stay, if and only if the rest of Britain annuls Brexit — then Britain could have another vote that included everyone else. I wonder how the vote would go IF the rest of the UK now understood that they stood to lose a large chunk of themsleves... Britain isn't going to go into battle over this, so democracy might actually function here as a bloodless war.

One aspect of this scenario is that we are heading toward some kind of crisis over who is permitted to make the decisions. At present the Westminster government takes the view that the Scottish parliament can say what it likes but the whole UK is leaving the EU because Westminster says so and they have the power. Legally this is correct, but there will be many who are unhappy about it. The matter is complicated because of the amount of ambivalence everywhere. Scotland, even now, would probably reject separation from the UK if a referendum were held on it, even though most Scots want to stay in the EU and know that by staying with England they will not do so. This produces a happy-to-be-unhappy situation. Theresa May is clear, efficient and decisive and so far has carried parliament with her. There is no guarantee she can keep this up all the way to the next general election in 2020, however. It is all rather fragile underneath what is made to look like a solid front. Another aspect is the fact that in the Westminster parliament the opposition is weak and divided while the governing party is enjoying a semblance of unity (that it does not want to lose) that it has not enjoyed since the time of Margaret Thatcher.

If we play the game of inventing unlikely scenarios, then perhaps Gibraltar should become an independent member of the EU and offer an easy route to citizenship as a Gibraltarian to any British person who wants to continue to be a European citizen. Of course, they might then find they had more citizens than they had room for on the rock, but I'm sure something could be worked out on a timeshare basis. :-)

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