Input

Don’t try to fix it, try to understand, more and more, and show how you are affected. Then it may fix itself. If it fix itself the fix is real. If you fix it is is probably only cosmetic.

There is a parallel process between that is happening between client and rupa and what is happening between client and therapist. This will tend to invite the therapist into being like the rupa but the therapist should resist this and remain empathic and genuine, or the therapy will only reinforce the client’s existing pattern. Thus if the client’s rupa is his father and he is imagining his father as he talks he will subtly invite the therapist to behave as his father did/does. If the therapist falls into this and becomes like the original father, by, for instance, telling the client what to do rather than listening to him, this will only reinforce the original pattern.

We also talked about the need to be expressive.


Warm Up Exercise
Making expressive faces at each other

Exercise
Counselling in which the client uses no words.

Exercise
One client, six counsellors in succession doing 2 minutes each, staying close to the bodily and facial expression of the client who does not speak.

Say what you see; what you think it may mean; what you feel or intuit as you are with the client, noticing each small change of expression or posture. Trying to stay closely with the client in this way is like the expression “two arrows meeting head on in mid air” in the text. This is something that cannot be contrived. It is not a direct consequence of skill. Skills are necessary but are secondary. The human contact is what is primary.



Seminar

We had a lot of questions and feedback from these exercises. The six therapists shared their experience and we looked at details of counselling interaction, how to express things that one is experiencing in a way that reaches the client in as immediate a way as possible, how to use all the the information that one receives, how to use all dimensions of expression including words, face, body, and position. Sometimes these seem to be saying different things - e.g. the person says he is happy in a sad sounding voice - we should treat this as a complex message and try to understand the whole of what it means. This is sometimes called “incongruence”, with the implication that it is somehow “wrong”, but if the client expresses himself in such a way then there is a reason and we should simply try to understand the whole message, not assume that the client is communicating badly. In fact, he is telling us a lot in a very condensed manner.

If, for instance, the client says “I think I ought to finish now,” but her tone and face tell that she really wants to continue, we can understand that she is sensitive to a supposed obligation to stop at that point in time while at the same time having a desire to go on. One needs to respond to the whole message. Similarly, sometimes it is the counsellor who gives complex messages playing upon a sense of mutual understanding with the client and this can deepen the relationship, as when the therapist says something ironic that resonates with an ambivalence felt by the client.
.
The work was seriously undertaken and we saw how the client can go through a process inwardly facilitated by the therapist without the therapist needing necessarily to know cognitively what is happening. By working in this intuitive way we increase the possibility of having the kind of special meeting indicated by the phrase “two arrows meeting in mid air head on”.


Exercise

We did action work in three groups investigating school experience, starting from sculpts and progressing into experimenting with short pieces of action work.

Guidelines for small scale action work:
1. The protagonist is in charge, can stop when he likes, can accept or reject suggestions.
2. Group members can make suggestions but must accept the protagonist’s decision.
3. Protagonist puts auxiliaries in the positions and postures that express his intuition of the situation.
4. If auxiliaries are left with feelings these should be expressed in the sharing phase.
5. If an auxiliary has strong persisting feelings, he should become the protagonist for the next piece.
6. If the protagonist chooses to have somebody as a moderator for the piece, the role of the moderator is to make suggestions, not to “solve” the issues that arise. The protagonist is in charge and can accept or reject the suggestions of the moderator.
7. The group should not persist in a direction that the protagonist rejects. (Even if the group were right in their diagnosis, this should be kept for another occasion).
8. The sharing phase is for sharing, not analysis. Suggestions should be kept to a minimum. The protagonist has done his work and this is a time for the auxiliaries to discharge feelings, get out of role and share anything from their own lives that has been warmed up by the work.


After the action work there was debriefing in twos and threes, sharing what had been learnt from the work in the different groups.


Summary

I went over some of the main points referring back to the text. If one speaks what is true about what one sees and feels and does so in a respectful way, nothing can go wrong. If one expresses it immediately it has greatest effect, is most use to the client and helps to build the relationship on a basis of trust. Also, when one expresses something that does not resonate for the client, if it has been said immediately it is easy to let it go, whereas when one has been thinking about it for a time and building up a theory in one’s mind before speaking it is much more difficult to relinquish one’s investment in the idea. The truth is not something we construct - it is “bestowed by heaven”. We find it by penetrating into the things that are mysterious. Thus when the client says something that seems not to add up, we know we are on the edge of something interesting, some aspect that we have not yet understood. In any case, causes and conditions are ripening as they should. When we have this deep respect, then it is safe to go into the client’s hell or prison. Like the bodhisattva who goes to rescue beings in the infernal regions, we can safely enter the client’s world and accompany him on his exploration.


Group members spent some consolidation time in pairs before the final conclusion.

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20170818 Course 2 Day 5 (10th day or 15 day training)

Posted by David Brazier on August 18, 2017 at 12:45 in KOREA 2017

 

https://eleusis.ning.com/group/korea/forum/topics/course-2-day-5-10th-day-or-15-day-training

 

Translated into Korean by Jaesung Kim

번역: 김재성

 

Input

 

Don’t try to fix it, try to understand, more and more, and show how you are affected. Then it may fix itself. If it fix itself the fix is real. If you fix it, it is probably only cosmetic.

 

입력(칠판 필기)

내담자를 고치려고 하지 마세요, 이해하려고 하세요, 더 많이, 당신이 어떻게 느끼는지 보여 주세요. 그러면 내담자는 스스로 고치게 될 것입니다. 내담자가 스스로 고치면, 그 고침은 실재입니다. 만일 당신(상담자)이 고친다면, 그것은 아마도 성형수술일 뿐입니다.

 

There is a parallel process between that is happening between client and rupa and what is happening between client and therapist. This will tend to invite the therapist into being like the rupa but the therapist should resist this and remain empathic and genuine, or the therapy will only reinforce the client’s existing pattern. Thus if the client’s rupa is his father and he is imagining his father as he talks he will subtly invite the therapist to behave as his father did/does. If the therapist falls into this and becomes like the original father, by, for instance, telling the client what to do rather than listening to him, this will only reinforce the original pattern.

내담자와 루빠 사이에 일어나고 있는 일과 내담자와 치료자간에 일어나고 있는 일 사이에는 병렬 프로세스가 있습니다. 이것(내담자)은 치료자가 루빠와 같아지도록 유도하는 경향이 있지만, 치료자는 이를 거부해야 하고, 공감하면서 진정한 채로 남아 있어야 합니다. 그렇지 않으면 치료는 내담자의 기존 패턴을 강화할 뿐입니다. 따라서 내담자의 루빠가 그의 아버지이고 그가 말하는 것처럼 그의 아버지를 상상하고 있다면, 그는 치료자에게 그의 아버지가 했던 대로 행동하도록 미묘하게 초대할 것입니다. 치료자가 이 문제에 빠져서 원래의 아버지처럼 되면, 예를 들어 내담자의 이야기를 듣기 보다는 내담자가 무엇을 해야 하는지를 말하게 된다면, 이는 원래의 패턴을 강화할 뿐입니다.

 

We also talked about the need to be expressive.

우리는 표현적이 되는 것의 필요성에 대해서도 이야기했습니다.

 

Warm Up Exercise

Making expressive faces at each other

워밍업 연습

두 사람이 짝이 되어 표정이 다양한 얼굴 만들어 보여주기

 

Exercise

Counselling in which the client uses no words.

연습

내담자가 아무 말도 사용하지 않는 상담하기.

(내담자는 수화를 사용하지 않고 얼굴 표정과 몸의 움직임만으로 자신의 내면을 보여주고, 상담자는 자신이 보고 느낀 것을 즉각 표현하는 연습을 함)

 

Exercise

One client, six counsellors in succession doing 2 minutes each, staying close to the bodily and facial expression of the client who does not speak.

연습

한 명의 내담자(브레이저 박사), 연속적으로 6명의 치료자가 각각 2분씩 상담하면서 말을 하지 않는 내담자의 육체와 얼굴 표정을 접하면서 머물러 있습니다.

 

Say what you see; what you think it may mean; what you feel or intuit as you are with the client, noticing each small change of expression or posture. Trying to stay closely with the client in this way is like the expression “two arrows meeting head on in mid air” in the text. This is something that cannot be contrived. It is not a direct consequence of skill. Skills are necessary but are secondary. The human contact is what is primary.

당신이 보는 것을 말하십시오. 그것이 의미할 지도 모른다고 당신이 생각하는 것을 말하십시오. 표현이나 자세가 조금씩 변하는 것을 알아차리면서, 내담자와 함께 있을 때 느끼거나 직감하는 것을 말하십시오. 이런 방식으로 내담자와 긴밀하게 머물려고 하는 것은 문헌에서 "공중에서 화살촉을 맞대고 있는 두 개의 화살"과 같은 것입니다. 이것은 억지로 꾸밀 수 없는 것입니다. 그것은 기법의 직접적인 결과는 아닙니다. 기법은 필요하지만 보조적입니다. 인간과의 접촉은 일차적인 것입니다.

 

Seminar

We had a lot of questions and feedback from these exercises. The six therapists shared their experience and we looked at details of counselling interaction, how to express things that one is experiencing in a way that reaches the client in as immediate a way as possible, how to use all the information that one receives, how to use all dimensions of expression including words, face, body, and position. Sometimes these seem to be saying different things - e.g. the person says he is happy in a sad sounding voice - we should treat this as a complex message and try to understand the whole of what it means. This is sometimes called “incongruence”, with the implication that it is somehow “wrong”, but if the client expresses himself in such a way then there is a reason and we should simply try to understand the whole message, not assume that the client is communicating badly. In fact, he is telling us a lot in a very condensed manner.

세미나

우리는 이러한 연습들에서 많은 질문과 피드백을 받았습니다. 6명의 치료자는 경험을 나누었고 우리는 다음의 내용을 살펴보았습니다. 상담 상호작용의 세부 사항, 가능한 한 즉각적인 방식 속에서 내담자에게 도달하는 방식으로, 상담자가 경험하고 있는 것을 표현하는 방법, 상담자가 받은 모든 정보를 사용하는 방법, 언어, 얼굴, 몸, 자세를 포함한 모든 차원의 표현을 사용하는 방법. 때로는 이런 것들은 다른 것들을 말하는 것 같습니다. 즉, 그 사람(내담자)은 슬픈 목소리을 하면서 행복하다고 말합니다. 우리는 이것을 복합적인 메시지로 다루고 그것이 의미하는 바를 전체적으로 이해하려고 노력해야합니다. 이것은 때때로 그것이 무언가 "잘못된 것"이라는 암시와 함께, "불일치"라고 불리는데, 내담자가 그런 식으로 자신을 표현한다면, 이유가 있고, 우리는 내담자가 소통를 잘못하고 있다고 가정하지 말고, 전체 메시지를 이해하려고 단지 시도해야 합니다. 사실, 내담자는 우리에게 매우 압축된 방식으로 많은 것을 말하고 있습니다.

 

If, for instance, the client says “I think I ought to finish now,” but her tone and face tell that she really wants to continue, we can understand that she is sensitive to a supposed obligation to stop at that point in time while at the same time having a desire to go on. One needs to respond to the whole message. Similarly, sometimes it is the counsellor who gives complex messages playing upon a sense of mutual understanding with the client and this can deepen the relationship, as when the therapist says something ironic that resonates with an ambivalence felt by the client.

예를 들어, 내담자가 "나는 지금 당장 (상담을) 끝내야 한다고 생각합니다."라고 말하면서 그녀의 어조와 얼굴표정에서는 정말로 (상담을) 계속하기를 원한다면, 그녀는 그 시점에서 멈추어야 한다고 생각한 의무에 민감하다는 것을 이해할 수 있습니다. 동시에 상담을 계속하고 싶은 욕망도 가지고 있습니다. 상담자는 전체 메시지에 응답할 필요가 있습니다. 마찬가지로 때로는 내담자와의 상호이해의 의미에서 작업하면서 복잡한 메시지를 전하는 사람이 상담자이며, 치료자가 내담자가 느낀 양면성에 공감하는 무언가 아이러니한 것을 말할 때, 이것이 상호 관계를 심화시킬 수 있습니다.

.

The work was seriously undertaken and we saw how the client can go through a process inwardly facilitated by the therapist without the therapist needing necessarily to know cognitively what is happening. By working in this intuitive way we increase the possibility of having the kind of special meeting indicated by the phrase “two arrows meeting in mid air head on”.

그 상담 작업은 진지하게 수행되었으며 우리는 치료자가 (내담자에게) 어떤 일이 일어나고 있는지 지적으로 알 필요가 없이, 치료자에 의해 내적으로 촉진된 과정 통해서 내담자가 어떻게 진행할 수 있었는지를 보았습니다. 이러한 직관적인 방식으로 작업함으로써, 우리는 "두 개의 화살이 공중에서 화살촉을 맞댄다"라는 문구가 가리키는 특별한 종류의 만남을 갖게될 가능성을 높입니다.

 

Exercise

We did action work in three groups investigating school experience, starting from sculpts and progressing into experimenting with short pieces of action work.

 

연습

우리는 세 가지 그룹(그룹 당 8명)으로 나누어, 학교 경험을 탐색하는 행동 작업을 했습니다. 형상을 만드는 작업에서 시작하여 짧은 행동 작업과 함께 실험을 진행했습니다.

 

Guidelines for small scale action work:

1. The protagonist is in charge, can stop when he likes, can accept or reject suggestions.

2. Group members can make suggestions but must accept the protagonist’s decision.

3. Protagonist puts auxiliaries in the positions and postures that express his intuition of the situation.

4. If auxiliaries are left with feelings these should be expressed in the sharing phase.

5. If an auxiliary has strong persisting feelings, he should become the protagonist for the next piece.

6. If the protagonist chooses to have somebody as a moderator for the piece, the role of the moderator is to make suggestions, not to “solve” the issues that arise. The protagonist is in charge and can accept or reject the suggestions of the moderator.

7. The group should not persist in a direction that the protagonist rejects. (Even if the group were right in their diagnosis, this should be kept for another occasion).

8. The sharing phase is for sharing, not analysis. Suggestions should be kept to a minimum. The protagonist has done his work and this is a time for the auxiliaries to discharge feelings, get out of role and share anything from their own lives that has been warmed up by the work.

 

소규모 행동 작동을 위한 지침 :

1. 주인공이 책임진다. 좋아할 때 멈추고, 제안을 수락하거나 거절 할 수 있습니다.

2. 집단 구성원은 제안을 할 수는 있지만 주인공의 결정을 받아 들여야 합니다.

3. 주인공은 상황에 대한 그의 직관을 표현하는 위치와 자세를 보조자들에게 요구합니다.

4. 보조자들이 감정을 가진 채 남겨졌다면, 공유 단계에서 표현되어야 합니다.

5. 보조자들이 지속적으로 강한 감정을 가지고 있다면, 그는 다음 작업의 주인공이 되어야합니다.

6. 주인공이 누군가를 그 작업을 위한 진행자로 선택하면, 진행자의 역할은 발생한 문제를 "해결"하는 것이 아니라 제안하는 것입니다. 주인공이 책임이 있고, 진행자의 제안을 수락하거나 거절 할 수 있습니다.

7. 집단은 주인공이 거부하는 방향으로 지속되어서는 안 됩니다. (그들의 진단에서 집단이 옳다고 해도, 다른 경우를 위해 이것을 붙들어 두어야 합니다).

8. 공유 단계는 분석이 아니라 공유를 위한 단계입니다. 제안은 최소한으로 유지되어야 합니다. 주인공은 그의 작업을 완료했고, 이것은 보조자가 감정을 털어내고, 역할에서 벗어나 작업으로 덥혀진 그들 자신의 삶에서 나온 무엇이든 공유 할 수 있는 시간입니다.

 

After the action work there was debriefing in twos and threes, sharing what had been learnt from the work in the different groups.

 

행동 작업이 끝난 후, 두 사람 또는 세 사람으로 나누어 브리핑을 하면서, 서로 다른 그룹의 작업에서 배운 것을 공유했습니다.

 

Summary

I went over some of the main points referring back to the text. If one speaks what is true about what one sees and feels and does so in a respectful way, nothing can go wrong. If one expresses it immediately it has greatest effect, is most use to the client and helps to build the relationship on a basis of trust. Also, when one expresses something that does not resonate for the client, if it has been said immediately it is easy to let it go, whereas when one has been thinking about it for a time and building up a theory in one’s mind before speaking it is much more difficult to relinquish one’s investment in the idea. The truth is not something we construct - it is “bestowed by heaven”. We find it by penetrating into the things that are mysterious. Thus when the client says something that seems not to add up, we know we are on the edge of something interesting, some aspect that we have not yet understood. In any case, causes and conditions are ripening as they should. When we have this deep respect, then it is safe to go into the client’s hell or prison. Like the bodhisattva who goes to rescue beings in the infernal regions, we can safely enter the client’s world and accompany him on his exploration.

 

요약

나는 텍스트(보경삼매가)로 돌아가 몇 가지 중요한 점을 검토했습니다. 우리가 보고 느끼는 것에 대해 진실을 말하고 존경하는 방식으로 그렇게 한다면 아무 것도 잘못 될 수는 없습니다. 즉시 표현하면 가장 효과적이며, 내담자에게 가장 유용하고, 신뢰를 기반으로 관계를 구축하는 데 도움이 됩니다. 또한, 내담자에게 공명하지 않는 어떤 것을 표현할 때, 즉각적으로 말하면 쉽게 내려놓을 수 있습니다. 반면에 한동안 생각하고 이야기하기 전에 마음속으로 이론을 세웠을 때는, 그 아이디어에 대한 투자를 포기하기가 훨씬 어렵습니다. 진실은 우리가 구성하는 것이 아닙니다. 그것은 "하늘에 의해 부여됩니다.". 우리는 신비한 것들 속으로 뚫고 들어감으로써 그것을 발견합니다. 따라서 내담자가 더해지지 않은 것을 말하면, 우리는 우리가 아직 이해하지 못하는 흥미로운 것의 가장자리에 있음을 압니다. 어쨌든 원인과 조건은 그렇게 되어야 하는 방식으로 무르익습니다. 우리가 이러한 깊은 존중을 가지고 있으면, 내담자의 지옥이나 감옥 속으로 들어가는 것은 안전합니다. 지옥 속의 존재들을 구원하기 위해서 지옥 속으로 들어가는 보살처럼, 우리는 내담자의 세계 속으로 안전하게 들어가서 그의 탐험에 동행할 수 있습니다.

 

Group members spent some consolidation time in pairs before the final conclusion.

그룹 구성원은 워크숍이 끝나기 전에 둘 씩 짝을 지어 어느 정도 통합의 시간을 보냅니다. 

Thank you for this! What an interesting workshop!!. 

I specially like the first little paragraph of the "Input". It implies faith and wisdom...Very challenging and helpful for me as a therapist.

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Gentleness

Posted by Tineke Osterloh on November 17, 2020 at 21:11 0 Comments

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