First session

We looked at the issue of moral judgement in counselling and learning how to say things in ways that are not morally loaded, that do not blame the client, nor lead the client into saying things either simply to please or defy the counsellor.

There are times when one can discuss the moral aspect but must do so from an empathic, heart to heart, position, not in the manner of talking down to the client. In any case, the client is probably already fully aware of how the people around him think about things and about his behaviour. This may be a problem for him, but it is unlikely to be the case that he simply needs to be told to change his ways.

Inasmuch as the counsellor tries to maintain a safe position and be always right there will be a lack of spontaneity. This will make the client hesitate and tend to avoid looking at some things and deal with others in a stereotypical way. This may lead to the counsellor and client seeming to agree, but it is superficial. More important things are happening at a deeper level and the counsellor can easily miss them entirely.

We all have ideas about what we should not do and most of those things we do do sometimes. When we do them, we justify it - we have reasons. When the client does things, the counsellor is interested in the real reasons. It is the inner process of the client that is worth investigating.

The issue that is presented may only be the tip of the iceberg. It may simply be a way to start talking. The counsellor does not know what might be found later. If we get stuck in making a moral judgement about the presenting issue we may never get to the important matter behind it.


Exercises

In pairs, giving immediate, spontaneous response to words said by partner, back and forth, until hitting a block or hesitation.

Examining the points that made one hesitate. Discussing, in general, what has this paralysing effect.

Exercise in completing or carrying on a phrase spoken by partner, back and forth, generating a small story or description. Then discussing the significance of the phrases chosen in relation to self and/or the emerging relationship.

Brief (4 minute) counselling sessions in groups, practising getting in quickly, getting engaged with the client in an immediate, spontaneous way. Then feedback discussions.

We did some free movement exercises.


Input

Exercises like this are a kind of play. We need to loosen ourselves up and be able to play.  Living in modern society can feel like being in a strait jacket. Our lives are increasingly public and our basic animal nature is more and more confined. We find relief from this in our families or with friends, but not everybody has suitable companions. Also, we are all carrying wounds. We all have bits of bitterness from all the little injuries that it is normal to suffer in the course of growing up. The baby does not always get fed or changed when needed. The child is surrounded by adults who are more powerful and do not always act in fair ways. At puberty we encounter all the difficulties of trying to break away from parental control and encountering people of the other sex, with all the attractions, rejections and experiments that it involves. Thus even somebody who has had a “good upbringing” has scars and for some people much worse. Realising that this is so in our own case we can have fellow feeling for others.

The Buddha is all accepting. Shakyamuni Buddha was amazingly accepting. We think of the stories of his encounters with Ajatashattru after the latter had killed the Buddha’s friend and patron Bimbisara. The Buddha still has sympathy and respect for this man who has killed his friend. This is great acceptance. Although, perhaps, we cannot offer the same degree of great acceptance as Buddha, still it is a worthy ideal and the counselling space can be a place where a client can find safety and tenderness even when looking at painful, shameful, bitter or terrible things from life.


Counselling Practice

Working in threes - counsellor, client, observer - doing longer (30 minute) sessions, integrating the active approach that has been practised earlier in the day.


Review

The main topics we have concentrated on today have been
- avoiding moral judgement and morally loaded language
- spontaneity and free association: ideas, images, feelings
- rapid engagement with the client and sustaining high energy interaction

we can each reflect upon where we need to improve or practice or experiment so that we can make maximum use of the exercises in the remainder of the course.

Views: 210

Replies to This Discussion

20170815 Course Two Day Two (7th day of 15 day training)

Posted by David Brazier on August 15, 2017 at 14:22 in KOREA 2017

 

https://eleusis.ning.com/group/korea/forum/topics/course-two-day-two-7th-day-of-15-day-training

 

Translated into Korean by Jaesung Kim

번역: 김재성

 

 First session

 

We looked at the issue of moral judgement in counselling and learning how to say things in ways that are not morally loaded, that do not blame the client, nor lead the client into saying things either simply to please or defy the counsellor.

첫 번째 세션

우리는 상담에서 도덕적 판단의 문제를 살펴보았고, 도덕적으로 부담되지 않는 방식으로, 즉 내담자를 비난하지 않고, 단순히 상담자를 기쁘게 하거나 상담자에게 반항하도록 내담자를 유도하지 않으면서 말하는 방식에 대해 배웠다.

 

There are times when one can discuss the moral aspect but must do so from an empathic, heart to heart, position, not in the manner of talking down to the client. In any case, the client is probably already fully aware of how the people around him think about things and about his behaviour. This may be a problem for him, but it is unlikely to be the case that he simply needs to be told to change his ways.

우리는 도덕적인 면을 토론할 수 있지만, 내담자에게 이야기 해주는 방식이 아니라 공감적인 위상에서, 가슴에서 가슴으로, 그렇게 토론해야 한다. 어쨌든 내담자는 이미 주변 사람들이 상황과 그의 행동에 대해 어떻게 생각하는지 이미 잘 알고 있을 것입니다. 이것은 그에 대한 문제가 될지 모르지만, 그에게 자신의 방식을 바꾸라고 간단히 말할 필요가 있는 경우는 아닐 것입니다.

 

Inasmuch as the counsellor tries to maintain a safe position and be always right there will be a lack of spontaneity. This will make the client hesitate and tend to avoid looking at some things and deal with others in a stereotypical way. This may lead to the counsellor and client seeming to agree, but it is superficial. More important things are happening at a deeper level and the counsellor can easily miss them entirely.

상담자가 안전한 위상을 유지하려고 노력하고, 항상 올바른 곳에 있는 한 자발성이 부족하게 될 것입니다. 이것은 내담자를 주저하게 만들고 어떤 일을 보는 것을 피하게 하고 타자를 전형적인 방식으로 다루려는 경향이 있습니다. 이것은 상담자와 내담자가 동의하는 것처럼 보일 수도 있지만, 그것은 표면적입니다. 더 중요한 일들은 더 깊은 차원에서 일어나고 있고 상담자는 쉽게 그걸 완전히 놓칠 수 있습니다.

 

We all have ideas about what we should not do and most of those things we to do sometimes. When we do them, we justify it - we have reasons. When the client does things, the counsellor is interested in the real reasons. It is the inner process of the client that is worth investigating.

우리 모두는 우리가 해서는 안 되는 것에 대한 생각을 가지고 있고, 때로는 우리는 많은 일을 그렇게 합니다. 우리가 그런 일들을 할 때, 우리는 그것을 정당화 합니다. – 우리에게는 이유가 있습니다. 내담자가 무엇을 할 때, 상담자는 실재 이유에 흥미가 있습니다. 조사 할 가치가있는 것은 내담자의 내적 과정입니다.

 

The issue that is presented may only be the tip of the iceberg. It may simply be a way to start talking. The counsellor does not know what might be found later. If we get stuck in making a moral judgement about the presenting issue we may never get to the important matter behind it.

제시된 문제는 빙산의 일각 일뿐입니다. 그것은 단순히 이야기를 시작하는 방법일 수 있습니다. 상담자는 나중에 발견될 수 있는 것이 무엇인지 모릅니다. 우리가 제시된 문제에 대해 도덕적인 판단을 하는 데 갇혀 있다면, 우리는 그 뒤에 있는 중요한 문제에 결코 도달하지 못할 수도 있습니다.

 

Exercises

In pairs, giving immediate, spontaneous response to words said by partner, back and forth, until hitting a block or hesitation.

연습

짝을 지어 파트너가 말한 한 단어에 즉각적이고 자발적으로 반응한다. 막히거나 주저가 있을 때까지 말을 주고받는다.

 

Examining the points that made one hesitate. Discussing, in general, what has this paralysing effect.

주저하게 만든 지점을 검토하세요. 일반적으로 무엇이 이 마비의 효과인지 토논하십시오.

 

Exercise in completing or carrying on a phrase spoken by partner, back and forth, generating a small story or description. Then discussing the significance of the phrases chosen in relation to self and/or the emerging relationship.

파트너가 주고 받으며 말한 구를 완성하거나 가져와서 작은 이야기나 설명을 만들어내는 연습을 하십시오. 그런 다음 자신 및/또는 떠오르는 관계와 관련하여 선택한 구의 중요성을 토논합니다.

 

Brief (4 minute) counselling sessions in groups, practising getting in quickly, getting engaged with the client in an immediate, spontaneous way. Then feedback discussions.

그룹에서 간단한 (4분간) 상담 세션으로, 즉각적으로 자발적 방식으로 내담자에게 빠르게 관여합니다. 그런 다음 피드백 토론을 합니다.

 

We did some free movement exercises.

우리는 약간의 자유로 움직임 연습을 했습니다.

 

Input

 

Exercises like this are a kind of play. We need to loosen ourselves up and be able to play. Living in modern society can feel like being in a strait jacket. Our lives are increasingly public and our basic animal nature is more and more confined. We find relief from this in our families or with friends, but not everybody has suitable companions. Also, we are all carrying wounds. We all have bits of bitterness from all the little injuries that it is normal to suffer in the course of growing up. The baby does not always get fed or changed when needed. The child is surrounded by adults who are more powerful and do not always act in fair ways. At puberty we encounter all the difficulties of trying to break away from parental control and encountering people of the other sex, with all the attractions, rejections and experiments that it involves. Thus even somebody who has had a “good upbringing” has scars and for some people much worse. Realising that this is so in our own case we can have fellow feeling for others.

 

입력

이런 실습은 일종의 놀이입니다. 우리는 스스로를 풀어놓고 놀 수 있어야합니다. 현대 사회에서 사는 것은 몸에 꼭 끼는 재킷을 입고 있는 것처럼 느낄 수 있습니다. 우리의 삶은 점점 더 공개되고 우리의 기본적인 동물의 본성은 점점 더 제한되어 가고 있습니다. 우리는 가족이나 친구와 함께 이것으로부터 벗어나는 것을 찾지만, 모든 사람에게 적절한 동반자가 있는 것은 아닙니다. 또한 우리는 모두 상처를 가지고 있습니다. 자라나는 과정에서 고통 받는 것이 정상적인 모든 작은 상처로부터 우리는 모두 씁쓸한(고통스런) 마음을 가지고 있습니다. 아기는 항상 잘 먹이거나 필요할 때 항상 바꾸어주지 않습니다. 어린이는 더 강하고 공정한 방식으로 항상 행동하지 않는 성인들에게 둘러싸여 있습니다. 사춘기에 우리는 부모의 통제에서 벗어나 다른 성별의 사람들과 마주치는 모든 어려움, 모든 매력, 거절 및 관련된 실험으로 어려움을 겪습니다. 따라서 "좋은 양육"을 받은 사람이라도 흉터가 있고 어떤 사람들에게는 훨씬 더 나쁩니다. 우리 자신의 경우에서도 그렇다는 것을 깨닫게 되면, 우리는 타자에게 동료 감정을 가질 수 있습니다.

 

The Buddha is all accepting. Shakyamuni Buddha was amazingly accepting. We think of the stories of his encounters with Ajatashattru after the latter had killed the Buddha’s friend and patron Bimbisara. The Buddha still has sympathy and respect for this man who has killed his friend. This is great acceptance. Although, perhaps, we cannot offer the same degree of great acceptance as Buddha, still it is a worthy ideal and the counselling space can be a place where a client can find safety and tenderness even when looking at painful, shameful, bitter or terrible things from life.

부처님은 모두를 수용합니다. 석가모니 붓다는 놀라는 정도에 수용했습니다. 우리는 붓다가 붓다의 친구이자 후원자였던 빔비사라Bimbisara 부왕을 죽인 아들 아자타샤트루Ajatashattru와의 만남의 이야기를 생각해보았습니다. 부처님께서는 여전히 자신의 친구를 죽인 이 사람에 대한 동정심과 존경을 가지고 있습니다. 이것은 대단한 수용입니다. 비록 부처님과 같은 정도의 위대한 수용을 제공할 수는 없지만, 그것은 여전히 가치 있는 이상이며 상담 공간은 인생에서 고통스럽고 부끄럽고 씁쓸하며 끔찍한 것을 보더라도 내담자가 안전과 부드러움을 찾을 수 있는 장소가 될 수 있습니다.

 

Counselling Practice

 

Working in threes - counsellor, client, observer - doing longer (30 minute) sessions, integrating the active approach that has been practised earlier in the day.

 

상담 실습

3명이 하는 작업 - 상담자, 내담자, 관찰자 – 오늘 앞 시간에 실행된 적극적인 접근 방식을 통합하여 더 긴 (30 분) 세션을 진행합니다.

 

Review

 

The main topics we have concentrated on today have been

- avoiding moral judgement and morally loaded language

- spontaneity and free association: ideas, images, feelings

- rapid engagement with the client and sustaining high energy interaction

 

we can each reflect upon where we need to improve or practice or experiment so that we can make maximum use of the exercises in the remainder of the course.

 

리뷰

우리가 오늘 집중한 주요 주제는

- 도덕적 판단을 피하고 도덕적으로 부과된 언어를 피할 것

- 자발성과 자유 연상 : 아이디어, 이미지, 감정

- 내담자와의 빠른 관여 및 높은 에너지 상호 작용 유지

 

우리는 이 코스의 나머지에서 실습을 최대한 활용할 수 있도록, 개선하거나 연습하거나 실험할 필요가 있는 부분을 각각 반성할 수 있습니다.

RSS

Events

ITZI Conference 2019

Subscribe to ITZI Conference Newsletter

* indicates required

Blog Posts

Night Sky

Posted by Tineke Osterloh on November 19, 2020 at 0:20 0 Comments

Gentleness

Posted by Tineke Osterloh on November 17, 2020 at 21:11 0 Comments

© 2020   Created by David Brazier.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service