A correspondent has written to me about the sudden death of a close friend. In this time of the virus we are all, in a certain way, surrounded by death. And sometimes those close to us die, but in a time like this it often isn’t practical to go to the temple to have a memorial service or to meet with friends. So, one has some need to do something appropriate that can be done on one’s own.
I advise that it could be a good thing to make, what we call an ancestor shrine or altar. If it is in the open air, this can be a special place that has some association with the person who died. Or, if it’s in the house, it could be a small table in the manner of an altar and one could put there mementos of the person who died, perhaps a photograph.
This can be a place where you can go to be with the deceased person in spirit. You can think upon them and say the nembutsu or read a suitable holy text. You can think upon the memory of the person. You can also talk directly to the person. In this there will be, no doubt, things that one wishes to share, memories, experiences, emotions.
One should also think about the onward journey of the spirit of the person who died. If we think in terms of the Buddhist Bardo Teachings, one should advice the person: go toward the light, for the light that is observed in the death process is the unconditional love of Amitabha Buddha.
On the one hand one wishes to maintain some connection, a relationship ongoing with the person who has departed, yet, at the same time, one does not want to hold them back from their onward journey.
Another thing one can do is to make a stele. Usually this would be made from a piece of wood that is of a size that you can hold in your hand, if you imagine a piece of wood that is approximately 30cm by 3 cm, but this is very approximate, it doesn’t matter the dimensions exactly. Upon the wood you can write the name of the person who died. It could be just a plain piece of wood or it might be that you make It beautiful in some way. Or it could be made of stone or some other substance. The stele can then put upon the ancestor shrine, upon the altar, or upon the home altar, if you have a Buddha altar in your house. Then you can hold the stele in your hand, when you are at the shrine as nother way of remembering the deceased person and establishing your contact with them.
Traditionally, on the anniversary of a death the stele of that person would be brought forth from the altar or from the reliquary and it would be used in the course of a memorial service.
These are all things that we can do alone. We don’t have to go to the temple or rely upon others to form an intimate ritual in this manner.
I hope this is of help.
Of course, one doesn’t need to wait until the crisis of somebody dying to establish an ancestor shrine. You can do this any time; you can do this now. And you can put upon it the mementos of those who have died perhaps many years ago. And you can create a special connection with those people through this kind of simple ritual. Remembering and celebrating the lives of those who have died, who have already passed on, is an important part of Pureland Buddhist ritual and practice. We send them good wishes and merit for their onward spiritual journey.
Namo Amida Bu
Thank you very much
Dharmavidya
David
In connection with today's podcast, you may also read the text "White Ashes" by Rennyo here:
http://web.mit.edu/stclair/www/horai/white%20ashes.htm
Rennyo 蓮如 (1415–1499) was a descendant of Shinran Shonin. Rennyo became the 8th head-priest (Monshu) of Hongan-ji Temple and was a highly effective propagator of Shin Shu Buddhism in Japan.
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