MEASURING STONES
Evening and my new pain lies beside me,
unexpected guest, after so many, a new turn
in the tortuous road of illness
where each correction of course
is like to bring its own hazard.
In the next hospital bed, a man, younger than I,
half hoping to survive a broken heart.
Here at the bequest of sons and daughters
- wife dead not three month -
he needs continual distraction.
High on the wall, television delivers
a steady stream of disaster and inanity;
I hope it suffices.
The pain is in my hip now. Pondering the journey
five metres to the toilet, I quail.
My neighbour, though closer, cannot venture so far.
Anchored by tubes and wires, as I three days ago.
he mutters his dismay, that it should come to this.
I have new tight stockings, hardly Moulin Rouge,
to assist in the battle against phlebitis
- flea bite, I call it -
legs full of little bullets of blood, armed but aimless,
liable to scatter like grape shot.
Image of the night of admission: the doctor's voice
“Don't move... C'est assez grave,” as he searched for English words.
Then the day of ultrasound, seeing inside my veins,
- black good, grey bad -
measuring stones. I remember nine millimetres.
In two weeks life has changed. That much is clear.
Instead of ranging the world, it is time to get a cat.
Instead of rugged work, a quieter existence.
Could be a blessing in disguise.
Two weeks ago, four hours in a Belgian traffic jam.
Then a day long drive back to France.
My new car will have a gentler life.
Sunday morning my strength was all gone, every effort exhausting.
Half way to the kitchen I sank to the ground
not so far from the edge.
Pulmonary embolism was then an unknown term.
What salvation there is in faith and practice!
I see the struggle of other patients.
My clan were never the most patient of souls
but my rough nature grows soft.
Pain lies beside me in the bed.
Silently I invoke the golden gods.
Replies
Namo Quan Shi Yin Bosat Namo Quan Shi Yin Bosat Namo Quan Shj Yin Bosat may your pain be eased much love from us in NZ
Sujatin Johnson said:
Oooooh - how this touches the heart. My eyes fill with tears, dear friend.