This is a space for the discussion of polyamory, a movement that is attracting attention, especially in America, that raises fundamental questions about conventional relationships and the norms and taboos that surround them. Some of us have been following the Polyamory Diary which, apart from what it says about poly, gives a fascinating insight into man-woman dynamics.
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Discussion of polyamory has now even reached the BBC site http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160623-polyamorous-relationships-...
MY HEART IS IN THE COFFIN
And I must pause till it come back to me.
Should we pay attention to the stories or to the creativity of the work that S & B wrote? Should we dismiss Heidegger's subtle thought because he was believed to have favoured the Nazi Party for a period of time? Should we ignore Trungpa's depth and insight because he had many lovers and some of them were unhappy about how things turned out?
Being the partner of Jean Paul sartre or of Simone de Beauvoir would be no ordinary thing. That they found each other is something special and it led to much creativity. We have all benefitted. People with an axe to grind one way or the other may use their relationship as a supposed example of this or that, but it was what it was and what it was was a great deal more than most people get anywhere near to.
Well, all this is to do with how one judges somebody else's relationship. when i used to do couple counselling, I came across quite a number of couples that were essentially held together by their conflicts. When they stopped battling they lost interest. From the outside one might judge such a relationship harshly, but one could be wrong. A common pitfall for therapists is that a person comes to therapy and complains about their spouse. the therapist becomes sympathetic and slips into a negative attitude toward the spouse. The client then rounds on the therapist in defense of the spouse and a thoroughly awkward situation ensues with the therapist thinking, "But you just said.... *?!*?...." and the client feels misunderstood and aggrieved.
Again, relationships tend to be judged on longevity and on that criteria alone, Beauvoir-sartre was a success. That it did not conform to modern or post-modern ideas about feminism or whatever tells us nothing because those ideas are anachronisitc in this context. It was what it was in its own time.
Another case demonstrating that there are often a number of different and contradictory narratives associated with people in the public eye. Maybe one might argue that the polyamorous or fluid nature of their style of relationship was one of the more functional aspects of their life together?
Is there any relationship that a skilled journalist could not tear to pieces by selective reading?