The more old Buddhist stories I hear, the more memories of Bible stories return, and these old stories are getting new meaning for me, influenced by Buddhist knowledge and new experience in life. Over the last couple of days, images of Jonah and the whale have been floating into my mind.
As I wrote in a previous Daily, I have started making translations of some of the writings of David, and there is something about this working on translations. I read the text over and over again. I think I have never read text so intensively. It is as if I absorb the stories when I am translating and it connects me with 'new-old stories'.
Kapimala meets Jonah and the whale
The Koan of Kapimala, the text David wrote a couple of days ago, is connecting me with Jonah. This is the famous Bible story in which Jonah tries to run away and hide from God. He takes a boat, gets lost in a storm, ends up in the sea and instead of drowning is swallowed by a whale. Down in the belly of the whale he prays and prays to God. After three days he is spat out by the whale and he at last takes on the task God has asked him to do.
This morning I read the whole story. It is a story with a lot of beautiful and interesting details. But here in this writing I want to explain why the story of Kapimala connects me with this Bible story, and somehow a bit with my personal life.
I am touched by the passage in the story about Kapimala:
The question is, does one seek the power to change the world or is one at ease in being changed and enriched by it?
Changed in a big way
For a long long time I believed that I could make my own happiness and success and achieve my goals in life. If I worked hard enough everything was going to be all right. When I felt unhappy, or even depressed, or things went wrong, I assumed it was my own fault. When people close to me where unhappy I had to rescue them. I was working very hard to change myself and the world around me. I was full of ideas how life was supposed to be and how I was supposed to be.
My life has changed in a big way. Somewhere I lost the idea that life is about 'achieving your goals'. Slowly I am realising that life has its own current. Many times I have tried to swim against the current or tried to change the current. It is quite exhausting.
Inner voice
Life is a real mystery. After hiding for several years I started listening to the voice of my heart or the voice of God, or Buddha. I started to follow an inner voice. When you expect instant happiness when 'you are following your heart', well, don't listen to that voice. There is no such thing as 'instant happiness'.
Jonah ended up in a storm on the great big sea, when he tried to hide from God. When he realised that everybody on the boat could drown because of him, he surrendered to God and offered himself as a sacrifice. They threw him into the sea. But a whale swallowed him and brought him to a new task in life.
Surprising as an unexpected whale
The current of life can be as surprising as an unexpected whale that swallows you and spits you out in an unexpected place. It is quite an adventure and not always pleasant. In a certain way this story of Jonah and the story of Kapimala seem to point in the same direction: I can try to change the world, I can have many ambitions, or I can ask myself the question “Why am I here? What is life asking from me? How can I be a servant of life?”
Intimate with the trees
The unexpected task that has been given to me is to translate some beautiful English Buddhist texts into Dutch. I have also been given the opportunity to potter around in the woods of Eleusis and become intimate with trees and flowers, although this is not really a task - more an unexpected treasure. To recognise particular trees and see a personal character in each of them gives me the feeling that I am building a relationship with them. There is nothing wrong with having a tree as a friend. Somehow these trees are giving me a glimpse of a friendship with Buddha.
I wonder what other tasks life will bring to me....
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