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A couple of days ago I found some traces of the history of the monastery I am currently staying in, and it is quite interesting! This monastery is build for the order of the Redemptorists.

Some history

The founder of the order is saint Alfonso, M. de Loguori, who lived in Naples (1696 – 1732) In this time people experienced God as a God of power, a God before whom one felt anxious. With this dark image of God a lot of poor people struggled, especially the people who where living on the countryside. The poor felt themselves victims of God, of the church and of the aristocracy. The talented intellectual Alphonsus felt compassion for the harrowing poverty amongst the people, in a spiritual and material way. That's why he founded the order for Redemptorists. He preached redemption for all people thanks to the love of God.

Marije who is now living in the monastery gave me a little book with the history of the monastery and I started reading:

Redemptorist Postulants

In the beginning of 1900 the order of the Redemptorists found established itself in this monastery in Den Bosch, a male community of monks and priests. Very soon the monastery building needed to expand for their noviciate. Before new people could come into the order they had to pass a probation time from a year or two as a postulant. During this time the postulant became prepared for life in a monastery. They had to wear a black robe and they lived completely separated from the outside world and the other priests and monks.

Taking refuge in the Sangha

In the current monastery only women are living in the part of the building that once was the noviciate. So I am a guest in the building that once was the quarters of male postulants. I find it quite special because I have the feeling that I am having my first experience as a (Buddhist) postulant here in this monastery. I shaved off my hair as a sign of my commitment to this new life, and without having a steady home in Holland I found shelter in this nice community. In a certain way I quite literally took refuge in the Sangha. Thanks to Ines, who is living here and who is also a member of my Sanga in Den Bosch, I have found a temporary home for a couple of months.

Reciting old hymns

I read more details about the life of the postulants of the order of Redemptorists. The postulants had no personal possessions. After their noviciate they ended this period with vows and entered the order to start their education to become a priest. There were two types of priest. One type of priest where mobile. They travelled around the world on missions. And the other kind of priest were connected to one place, a church or a monastery. This seems quite similar to the life of priest in the Amida Order.

Between the lines in the history book you can read that the life of the postulants was not that easy. Daily life had a very strict regime. Every minute seems to be regulated for the men. Marije told me that a couple of years ago there was an anniversary of the 25 years existence of the current community. They invited some of the old novices who once lived here. They were now in their 80 s and 90s. They told stories about the time they have lived here. And some of them came here with mixed feelings, maybe even some anxiousness.

Marije has been quite touched by meeting these old novices and she told me that one moment they started to recite old hymns together, which was beautiful.

Traces of the Chapel

It is quite interesting that this place once was a male monastery and now it is a place for women only. The energy is completely changed. I asked Marije if I can see the chapel but the chapel has now almost completely disappeared because they have built apartments in it. But Marije took me to the part of the building that once was the chapel and there I found some traces of the old building.... Two beautiful leaded windows! The only ones left in the building: one with an image of Maria Magdalene (her name is written in the window) and another window with sunflowers and the word 'Obidienzia' - I think it is Italian for Obedience...

Eat your asparagus decently

Maria Magdalena is one of the remains of this old male monastery. I wonder what Maria Magdalena meant for the men living here in this monastery and then this window besides her 'obedience'... Nowadays this is not a very popular word. And then I think about a story that is written in the history book Marije gave me. One of the old novices is telling that they had 'politeness lessons' in the monastery. One of the things he had learned was to eat asparagus in a decent way... quite a funny story. You can eat them decent... but no one can see what is going on in a man's mind while he is eating them.

What about obedience?

The window 'obienzia is puzzling me. It is quite a strong word 'obedience'. Obedience to whom? Yes... of course God. I wonder what obedience mean in Buddhism. Gautama Buddha was someone who said I am not a teacher, don't worship me, you have to follow your own Dharma path. I have the feeling that 'obedience' has a certain significance on every spiritual path, in every spiritual training. It is not a word we like. Because with the word obedience we think of authority, give up your free will, maybe we even think of punishment.

But I find it quite interesting to explore the word 'to obey'. What is the authentic meaning of this word? The Dutch word for to obey is 'gehoorzamen'. The literally meaning of this word is 'to hear – together'. When I search for 'to obey' in the English etymology dictionary I find:

late 13c., from Old French obeir "obey, be obedient, do one's duty" (12c.), from Latin obedire, oboedire "obey, be subject, serve; pay attention to, give ear," literally "listen to," from ob "to" (see ob-) + audire "listen, hear

Both meanings are quite nice and friendly: The source of the meaning from this word is 'to hear' and 'to listen'.

Not on my Curriculum Vitae

To be obedient is not a word I would immediately choose to put on my Curriculum Vitae as a quality I have and to be proud of. But while I am exploring this word I feel attracted to it. Beyond my first resistance I recognise the modest attitude that is necessary to be obedient, to hear and to listen. What is needed to be heard and listened to? An inner voice? The voice of the heart? A calling? The Dharma teachings? The voice of life? Listen to the vows? Precepts?

I think to be obedient is a quality of receiving, a 'yin' quality. Instead of taking action, doing, reaching for goals in life, putting one's own desires central in life... instead of leading by one's strong will, trying to listen to what life is asking from you.

Temper my ego

Obedience asks me to temper my ego and everything I think I know about the world around me. The rituals in zen practice, the prostrations in the Pureland services, they all help me to exercise a more obedient attitude, to learn, to listen again, to hear the sacred again. To be less occupied with the self and be open and willing to serve what the moment is asking.

I suppose the spirit of obedience in the monastery of the past must have been quite tough. It seems they were still living with an image of a God they were afraid of. Not a kind of atmosphere I am longing for.

The window of Maria Magdalena seems to tell that a more female spirit has taken over in this monastery. According to the Gospel of Maria Magdalena she was the favourite disciple of Jesus - a spiritual Gnostic gospel completely different from the gospels in the bible. She is not the woman I immediately bring in mind when I talk about obedience.

I think her spirit has truly survived in this monastery. Most of the women who are living here, have quite a spiritual interest and they organise all kinds of workshops. The atmosphere is creative, and spiritual in very liberated way.

This new community life here all started in the 80s when a group of people squatted in this building, but that is another story and not one about obedience...

I still wonder what Gautama Buddha would have said about obedience, what Buddhism is saying about obedience. Maybe a good question, for 'Questions in the Sand?'

Dilemmas

Dogen Zenji is, perhaps, the most important figure in Zen in the history of Japan. I am working on a translation of Dogen's seminal text Genjo Koan. It is about enlightenment. It is written to a layperson. Later on Dogen writes other things that strongly suggest that it is virtually impossible for a lay person to be enlightened. Did Dogen change his mind? If so, why?

Dogen is known for being a dedicated advocate of zazen. It has the highest value in his system and is presented as equivalent to enlightenment, yet in Genjo Koan, which is about enlightenment, he does not mention it? Why?

If you take Genjo Koan in isolation, if you knew nothing else about Dogen's writings, you would probably never guess that he regarded zazen as being so important. You would rather, I think, tend to think that what he is talking about could arise in a variety of ways.

My own experience of spiritual practice would go along those lines. I have learnt important things from meditation, but also from other aspects of practice, from my relationships with different teachers, from adventitious circumstances of life, from devotion, chanting and prayer, from writing, and even from reading Dogen. Many of Dogen's own writings also suggest such diverse learning. Dogen, however, makes a distinction between the kind of learning that is cumulative and the awakening that is satori. My own spiritual awakenings have certainly had some kind of contemplation as one important element, but that has not been the only trigger.

More Dilemmas

We can ask, why did Dogen write, given that he wrote a great deal. Some of the writings were initially delivered as spoken sermons. One can say that their purpose was to encourage people to do zazen, but such encouragement did not require such sophisticated prose, such wide ranging rehearsal of doctrines and stories, such poetry. Much of Dogen's writing revolves around koan cases - Zen stories of encounters between monks or between teacher and disciple, in which one at least generally arrives at some kind of enlightenment experience. It is therefore clear enough that Dogen also thought that enlightenment came via interaction and dialogue.

Zazen

Sometimes Dogen writes about zazen as sitting in a specific posture and managing the mind in a particular way. Sometimes he writes as though almost any activity can be zazen.

Dogen's text that most centrally focusses on zazen is called Fukanzazengi - Instructions for Zazen. Early in this text he reminds us of Shakyamuni training for six years and Bodhidharma for nine. This implies that enlightenment comes as a result after a period of time. However, later in the text, he says that training is enlightenment. These claims cannot both stand.

In any case, Shakyamuni, at least, clearly was not enlightened when he was "training" and what he was doing at that time was not zazen, and Bodhidharma we are led to believe was already enlightened before he started his legendary nine years facing a wall.

His Dilemmas

Were Dogen's writings as much a way of putting down his own dilemmas as of instructing others? Is what we are to learn here the way that a spiritual life, such as he exemplifies, is a continual series of dilemmas? Is he obliged to be consistent? Perhaps contradicting himself within the same essay is enlightened behaviour. Perhaps he was not sure about some of the answers. He probably wanted to think that lay people could be enlightened, but found in practice that they just gave him a lot of trouble. He probably wanted people to do zazen but realised that for many it was impractical. He probably wanted his message to be popular, but found that it wasn't.

He certainly did not have an easy time. His parents died when he was young. He became a monk. He went to the big Tendai monastery Enraku-ji at Hiei and then to the Rinzai Kennin-ji temple. When the abbot, Myozen, went to China Dogen went with him. However, on their arrival the Chinese did not accept that Dogen was a proper monk and treated him as a layperson, or at best as a bottom grade junior. Then Myozen died. When Dogen got back to Japan he probably expected his new understanding to be greeted with acclaim, but largely it met with rejection. After ten years of trying to run his own monastery near to the capital he was forced to leave and move to a remote area. The school he founded was always teetering on the brink of being made illegal. He had to try hard to find persons of influence to speak up for him.  He had some successes, but it was a difficult progression and he must have been near to despair on occasion.

Our Dilemma

So the moral of today's teaching is that the spiritual life is not easy or straight-forward, that it involves many struggles and often a good deal of lack of clarity. Our spiritual heroes are not people who sailed along from one great experience to another. Honen Shonin also went to Enraku-ji as an orphan, left, struggled, got exiled, and had many conflicts.

Our image of the spiritual life in modern times has been somewhat built upon the idea that it provides 'happiness' and freedom from trouble. We asset strip it for techniques to use for 'personal growth' but often miss the meaning of the body of practice that we have taken them from. We do not have a feel for 'enlightenment' we just want more immediate benefits for body and mind - exactly the things that Dogen learnt to let go of in China.

My teacher Kennett Roshi said, on more than one occasion, that if enlightenment was just about happiness then a dog asleep in the sun would be the ideal. There is more to it.

Saturday 21^st May

The dewdrop bejewels the grass in the dazzling early morning sunshine, bringing forth the promise of a sunny day ahead.

Yesterday we were again at Oasis for the weekly service. In his dharma talk Dharmavidya gave a new perspective on the classic teaching of sila, samadhi, prajna sometimes referred to as the “three higher trainings of Mahayana” and traditionally regarded as being a sequential teaching, a teaching that can be mapped onto marga or the Noble Eightfold Path. In this way of thinking behavioural discipline (sila) creates conditions for mental training (samadhi) that leads to cognitive acuity (prajna). There is acknowledgement however in later interpretations such as those associated with the Yogacara that the three do interrelate and are cultivated together (see Lusthaus, D 2002).

Dharmavidya talked about how sila (the moral rules, as enshrined for example in the pratimoksha) and Samadhi (the practice of meditation and training of the mind) can both be seen within the scope of worldly cultivation and achievement. In this way the development of both as practices never ends – in other words we can always do better, improve morally and ethically, and become finer meditators. The trap with both of these practices is that we get caught up in what essentially is a “self-improvement project” – albeit in this case a project with some admirable outcomes. However this is quite different to prajna (most often translated as wisdom), Dharmavidya explains. Whilst the former two practices are gradually cultivated prajna is a sudden cutting through to the truth, a penetrating wisdom when one is empty of self and by virtue of the Other Power of the Buddha. This is not a wisdom that can be cultivated but rather happens at the point at which we realise the futility of cultivating such practices. It is of a wholly other nature.

The story of Takuan and Basso is relevant here. In the story Takuan encounters Basso sitting in meditation. He has been sitting for many hours. Takuan says to Basso: “why are you sitting meditating?” Basso says “I am meditating so as to become a Buddha.” At this Takuan takes up a tile and a stone and starts rubbing the former with the latter. Basso distracted by this says, “master why are you rubbing that tile with a stone?” Takuan says: ”so as to make it into a mirror.” Basso responds “you can’t make a mirror from a tile by rubbing it with a stone!” Takuan says: “and yet you think you can become a Buddha by meditating?” Basso has the insight of prajna. You could say for Basso the tile becomes a mirror in which he sees reflected his true nature or the true nature of things: rupa (self) becomes dharma (empty of self). We are all mirrors in this way. I very much like the symbolism of the mirror in the way it is used here. The other day Adam pointed out that quantum mechanics demonstrates how the reflection in a mirror is a pale or dimmed visual image of the object reflected. Materially that seems convincing theory. However in the way the mirror is being referred to in this context we might accept that what is reflected back is indeed an altered image and if we only see 'the self' reflected (mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?) then what we have is merely a view of our delusion, the self rupa we could say. On the other hand if we shift the mirror slightly towards the sun when looking into it, sometimes to the extent that we are blinded by the light, but certainly to the extent that the sharper image of ourselves is momentarily lost then there is prajna. Ergo, we see the reflection of our ordinary nature shattered by the brightness of the Tathagata’s light and its brightness can shoot off in a thousand different directions. This is what I think Dharmavidya meant by us all being mirrors. Although we might just as well say we are all tiles!

Another image is that of ordinary beings being cracked pots. I like the association to ‘crack pot’, meaning a person who is slightly unhinged or even crazy, but also in the way it is used to refer to ideas, as in ‘that’s a crack pot idea’. I like it because it also refers to doing something that runs counter to the ordinary, challenges the status quo (and of course risks ridicule) but also may well be inspirational and introduce a new wisdom into the world. In the Zen Buddhist canon many of the masters from the past say and do things that make them appear as crack pots. And yet what they say and do often turns out to be - for the person they are encountering - the very thing that cuts through delusion to bring about the sudden penetrating wisdom of prajna.

This morning at breakfast we talked about how history has shown certain figures from the last century to be pivotal in the development of human understanding. We also wondered together who might be the thinkers from our own age who will prove influential in the same way in generations to come. In this context we could say that Freud, Jung, Trungpa, Rogers, Bowlby, Klein were all most certainly crack pots.

As Pure Land Buddhists we may well change the nature of the narrative but the conclusion is much the same. We are all crack(ed) pots and it is only through having cracks that the light can get in to illuminate the empty darkness inside. The illuminating light is Amitabha and the 'lit up inside' Sukhavati. The dewdrops atop each blade of grass have disappeared. New ones will reappear and again glisten in the sunshine in days to come.

Yesterday during breakfast I had a bit of a difficult conversation with Els about religion. In her younger years she had a strong belief in God, but along the way she lost it. One of her questions is “How is it possible that there is a God when there is so much suffering in the world?” All these questions are rising within her, because she wants to come to the autumn retreat at Eleusis. I know why she wants to come. She is carrying around her koan every day and struggling with it. She is searching for answers on her koan.

Not a Dharma Teacher

Life hit her with a stroke nine years ago. The right side of her body is partly paralysed. She can walk with a stick and she is limited in her way of speaking, so that she is only saying the essential, which is quite a wonderful way of speaking. She has a very good sense of humour.

With her strength and fighter's mentality, strong will and adventurous spirit, she has build quite a new life for her self. She is surrounded by loving friends and family.

I can see that people love Els because of her courages and positive attitude and her friends and family responded very warmly and supportingly about her plans to go to Eleusis for three months.They are also making jokes, because they know Els as someone who has a resistance to a spiritual life. On Els' sharp questions I had no answers this morning. I felt answer inside myself, but I was not capable of putting them into words. One moment I said to Els “I am not a Dharma teacher, I don't know how to answers these questions.”

Nico Tydeman and Nembutsu

Later I thought about a chapter in a book of Nico Tydeman (well know Zen teacher in Holland). I read it a couple of days ago. In his book 'Vormen van oneindige leegte' (Forms of Endless Emptiness) he writes about his travels through Japan and describes several Buddhist schools in history. In this book he has written a wonderful chapter about Pureland Buddhism, Nembutsu and the life of Shinran.

I drank in this chapter voraciously. It was wonderful for me to read something about Pureland Buddhism in my own language, Dutch, and I felt also quite moved by the whole chapter. It is a bit difficult to catch in words what moved me so much. Nico Tydeman paints the life of Shinran in such a way that between the lines one can recognise some of the personal koans of Shinran during his way on the Dharma path. He writes about the love he had for his teacher Honen. Nico Tydeman has also written a beautiful piece about one of the essential principles of Pureland Buddhism, about other-power. I would like to share something I have read:

He is writing about the faith in Amida:

“To believe in Amida is not the result of logical reason or intellectual thinking. Belief and faith are incomprehensible and do not lean on anything. To not understand is to understand, according to Shinran. To believe is not a matter of self-power, but will be awakened by the other-power of Amida.”.... “To say the name of Amida is not a personal, physical deed, … The Nembutsu is an expression of gratitude for Amdia's other, redeeming power and is asking for a specific consciousness...”

The one who is going deeply into one's self-consciousness and goes further than one can go all by oneself, denying oneself completely and no longer trusting in oneself, then one will find on the bottomless bottom of one's consciousness the concept of Buddha. By pronouncing the name of Buddha, I design Buddha, Shinran says. A Buddha manifests effortlessly. Amida Buddha's other-power works spontaneously. She is the most authentic, direct and natural power in existence.”

Bottomless Bottom

I am struck by the notion of the bottomless bottom, the place you don't know anything any more, is the place to meet Amida, Buddha, God, whatever you like to call the Sacred.

This in it self is a liberating concept for me. When you feel completely helpless and powerless and recognise that you are indeed powerless, you can't do it by yourself and you don't have to. There is a possibility to have faith in something els in an other-than-self, in other power. Instead of fighting and struggling, to surrender to life and what is going to happen and there is the possibility of unexpected care and grace from life itself - the Sacred.

Labyrinth

In the evening I was invited to join another sacred activity: to walk a labyrinth. Behind the monastery there is beautiful park with old chestnuts trees. Four times a year the women of the monastery walk a labyrinth they have made in this park. The path of the labyrinth is a symbol for the path of life or the way of transformation. There is the route inward to your inner world and the way out to the outside world. Along the path you can experience all kind of things. Els was also invited, but at first she didn't want to go. Five minutes before we left to the park, she changed her mind and joined us.

The Four Elements

The location of the labyrinth is beautifully chosen and surrounded by the old chestnut trees.

This evening 13 people wanted to walk the labyrinth. Eleven women, a man and a boy. I guess that the little boy was about 4 years old; the little fireman. I call him like this because the first time I met him in the garden of the monastery he was carrying his teddybear and wearing a fire helmet.

All of us where standing around the labyrinth, some of us were sitting on chairs. Four of us were representing the four elements; fire, water, earth and air. One woman was carrying an oil lamp for fire, one was carrying a small bowl with water, a man was carrying a stone for earth and another women was holding incense for air.

At first the elements where invited into the labyrinth. Fire entered the labyrinth; fire the element for passion, warmth, desire, a strong will. Fire, that can destroy or warm you heart. The second element water entered the labyrinth. Water the element for emotions, water that can flow everywhere, can give freshness, sparkle, or overwhelm you with great strength. Then earth entered the labyrinth; the element for firm ground beneath your feet, earth who is carrying you, you can touch it, and and she is giving security, earth solid as a rock. Lastly, the element air entered. The element of breathing, lightness, humour, the quickness of thoughts, the connecter, air is everywhere and air is elusive.

Priestess

Before each element entered the labyrinth they introduced the elements with some words. The woman who was representing the element air was Miriam, and she was standing at the entrance of the labyrinth. I had seen here before in the monastery but she looked quite different this evening. She was wearing a long black coat and holding a meditation bell. She spoke only a few words and then she opened her mouth and only sung a kind of “Ohm” in different tones, very beautifully. She looked strong, quite impressive with a certain soft lightness in her face. I saw a priestess standing at the entrance of the labyrinth.

Fire and Water

While fire was entering the labyrinth I saw that Els responded in a quite emotional way. After the elements everybody was invited to walk the labyrinth in their own time and own tempo. The people who had brought in the elements where standing around the labyrinth again. From now on Miriam guided everybody into the labyrinth with the sound of the mediation bell.

Els was the second one who stood up to walk to the entrance of the labyrinth. She had a decisive expression on her face. Fire brought her to the portal of the labyrinth. Somehow Els was really entering the labyrinth. I saw her from outside stepping in. After her first step into the labyrinth she was standing still for a while before she walked further. The expression on her face changed. Slowly she started to walk and immediately she started to cry. She kept on walking but the element water overwhelmed her fire, till she cried out loudly and she almost tumbled on the ground. Miriam caught her and held her. I walked to them and held Els too and cried with her for a moment. Miriam asked Els if she wanted to walk the labyrinth with me.

This time we entered the labyrinth together. The path was small, I walked in front, Els right behind me while we walked hand in hand. In the meanwhile more people where walking this path. Including the little fireman. The little fireman took his path seriously, playfully and in complete silence, he took it over and over again. Sometimes he was very patiently walking behind other walkers in the labyrinth, sometimes he had to much energy and passed others to be in the inner heart of the labyrinth quicker. When Els and I arrived in the heart of the labyrinth the little fireman soon arrived too. We stood there for a while with the little fireman between us. He was at ease waiting and standing with us. Then we returned to our way out of the Labyrinth. This time Els walked alone in front of me, her face covered with black marks of make-up tears. At the end of the labyrinth, before I went out I looked at Miriam, the beautiful priestess for a while, I thanked her with a gasho.

Meeting Buddha

When Els and I walked back to the monastery she said:

“It was so beautiful. I felt so connected with everyone.”

I thought about our discussion from this morning and said:

“I think this is the essence of religion. To meet the other, to feel connected with the other is to meet God, Buddha, or however you will call it. This is the way to experience God.”

(With thanks to Els who gave permission to write this story)

There is a nice little report here worth reflecting on

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20160509-the-truth-about-icelandic-happiness

Charlene interviewed me for her network. You can listen to the interview here.

Apparently, the USA dropped 23,144 bombs in Middle Eastern countries in 2015 - not an exceptional number, even - what is the karma of this?

http://www.jeanneripley.wordpress.com

When we know, we speak less and walk into the

glowing, green space of love, the glimmering

reality of this moment. No fear. We are always

directed and safe as long as we are awake. In the here

we feel every breath, hear the intent in every word.

Let's forego analyzing for being, for giving back

without measuring and judging. Let's give our most

precious gift- our Self, from a true and full awareness

that we are the same. No holding back.

Yes, it is okay to be free.

To love is to hold a space to be heard, to value

the fullness of who you are, to speak with

unpracticed responses because the author is known.

Your voice arises from a surrender to grace. The more

we give in to natural flow, the more we have to give to.

Mischief

Today I had some pre operation research appointments. I was in hospital from 12.30 till 15.30. Everything went smoothly and with care

My first appointment was with physiotherapy. We where in a small group and we were taught how to walk with crutches. I felt very young among all the others. The average age for a hip protheses is much higher then mine.

So we practised walking, with two extra artificial legs, in a kind of gym hall. I became a bit mischievous while we are practising. I said 'lets do a contest'. And I smiled at the man besides me, but I did not speed, but from behind suddenly one of the other man passed us with quite a speed and a big smile on his face.

Shoes and Socks

The good news is that the physiotherapist told me that I really don't need a rehabilitation hotel to recover. I will be operated with a new method and I am allowed to stand on my leg immediately after the operation. I am even allowed to put on my shoes and socks myself, which is not allowed with the classic-method. The wound will give pain and needs six weeks to heal, but I will not need my crutches for a long time.

Magic bugs

After the physiotherapy they sent me to a second department for more screening tests, then a third department to talk about anaesthetics and, finally, a fourth appointment for taking some blood.

And I heard some strange news in hospital today. They tested me again for the MRSA bacteria and it came out negative... the bugs are gone, disappeared... vanished....

Well... how odd! I suspect some language problems here, maybe. Well it is so not very surprising. A Dutch woman who asked in France for a blood test (that the French usually do not do) for a hospital in Germany... maybe this is asking for confusion.

Thank you

Never mind. If everything goes smoothly I will be operated on the 23rd May and can return to the monastery after three days. A physiotherapist will visit me at home... home... my temporary home... this nice guesthouse in the monastery with four wonderful women.

So yes, thank you strange bugs for bringing me to Den Bosch. It is a good place to recover.

Namo Amida Bu

The BBC site has the following (my emphasis)

In the evening the Queen will be accompanied by Prince Philip, the Prince of Wales and Duchess of Cornwall, as she lights the first of more than 900 beacons across the UK and the world to mark her birthday.

Members of the Army cadet force will take beacons to the top of the highest peaks of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.

Some of the beacons will be specially-built gas-fuelled structures, while others will be traditional bonfires or braziers on top of tall wooden posts.

Queen Elizabeth II has reigned longer than any previous British or English monarch. Watching her coronation was the first time that I ever saw a TV set. We watched it at the house of my grand-parents. The screen was tiny and the picture black and white. Since then she has visited more than a hundred countries and travelled more than a million miles. I hope her legs are in better shape than mine.

Here at La Ville au Roi recently we have been a group of three or four all of whom are amitaryas in the Amida sangha or people interested in pursuing this possibility. This raises the question whether we can, in fact, develop a training programme here as one of the dimensions of what we do, so that the sense of this being a place where one can pursue and develop a vocation in the bodhisattva spirit could become a recognised element of the life here. In practice, this is already the case, but it is, as it were, in the shadow. I would not envisage this place becoming exclusive in any way, but we have the potential here to develop in a number of directions and this can be one.

The basic idea of the amitarya is a person who is dedicated to the bodhisattva ideal and who is free to live the life, being willing to travel and take on whatever role is required and, when not travelling to live in community with other amitaryas whenever possible. This is our "modern" version of the kind of life that Shakyamuni Budda recommended to his closest disciples.

Of course, this is not something that one can plan and then implement in a positivist kind of way. It depends upon who shows up and with what motivation.  We can, however, be willing and make it apparent that a possibility exists. I've no doubt that we shall have a good deal more discussion of all this over coming months.

In recent years there have been a number of changes in the Amida community and at one stage we were not in a position to offer amitarya training even if people had wanted it. Now that situation is changing again and new possibilities are taking shape.

Reading the news these days one cannot be unaware of the American election. On the one hand it is quite entertaining with several larger than life characters. On the other hand, I have a sense that something of a tragedy is also unfolding as neither of the two political parties seems that happy in itself. This is especially true of the Republicans who seem to be tearing themselves apart. Beyond all the rhetoric and histrionics, one tries to discern deeper trends. Is it really America itself that is coming apart? The demographic trends suggest that parts of the USA will become predominantly Spanish speaking before the end of this century. Whether building a wall along the Mexican border will change this prospect or not, it has to be a significant factor in looking at the future of the world's number one military power. Then there is the fact that American democracy looks less and less democratic as so much manipulating and fixing goes on. Then there is the question of debt. Debt is one of the big factors in international politics these days - look at Greece, look at Japan. To eliminate its dept the American government would have to sell everything it owns and all the public property of the nation and still find some more cash from somewhere. In the meantime it goes on spending more than its income. In this sense, America is a mortgaged nation in a state of negative equity. Not a happy position. Will America retrench into protectionism, leading to negative trade wars all over the world? What will that do to Euro-American relations? Is NATO now redundant - or even just too expensive? Will there then be a knock on effect on Russo-European relations? We could well be edging toward a set of changes as portentous as those that happened when the Iron Curtain fell. Whether one likes their proposed solutions or not, it does appear that Mr Trump and Mr Sanders are both making noise about important issues that nobody else really wants to look at but which do have implications for all of us.

And before all that, the UK is going to have a referendum on whether or not to stay in the EU. This could turn out to be something of a non-event if it results in more than 55% of the population voting to stay in Europe. This, however, looks increasingly unlikely and a much closer result could have all sorts of knock on effects depending not only on the vote but its distribution, especially if, as does seem likely, Scotland votes differently from England. There are scenarios here capable of breaking up the United Kingdom, changing the UK-Europe relationship, and changing the UK-USA relationship. We live in interesting times.

Although news from the Middle East is fairly unremittingly awful, the increasing likelihood that there may be changes in relations between the most powerful countries in the world is likely to be even more consequential in the long run than whether President Assad does or does not stay in power, whether IS continues, transmutes or disappears, or whether the Israelis and Palestinians ever do come to some kind of accord or not.

My Visit at Eleusis.

Day 1 20^th March

While travelling Australia in 2011 I read a book that moved me deeply.

This book was called “Who loves well dies well”

Having just lost my own mother I had great admiration for David for making his mothers death so wonderful, I felt i wanted to know more about this man.(Dharmavidya).

I researched online and found the site Eleusis . I knew i wanted to stay here.

5 years later the time finally feels right .

I was greeted warmly by Adam, telling me I could have his room,then Elja and Dhamavidya.

First a walk in the woods to meet the goddesses.

A tour of house and gardens and a look at my room.

Thank you Adam for letting me have your room you are a star..

Im calling it mine already.

I did offer Adam a mattress on the floor of “ my room “

Ermm, thanks Josephine but no thanks,” not the best look for someone on a celibacy program” Ha ha and that’s how life in Eleusis pans out.

Fun about serious things.

Hey its normal life with normal people. I didn’t know what I was expecting but certainly got the most wonderful surprise,

David and I strim the grass, then time for one of  Elja’s delicious meals.

Tomorrow we will have morning service, we are four.

Day 2  March

First time practice for me in shrine room.

Lovely sunshine for morning service, wonderful experience.

Felt relieved to find this sentence in book of practice.

That this practice is for ignorant beings and ignorance is essential for accomplishment.

 Any self conscious feeling I had up until then quickly diminished  

Breakfast usually follows lots of discussions about wide range of subjects.

David’s having his weekly blood test, it like a lottery and we all place our bets on numbers for results later in the week.

We joke a lot

Me:  I was so sorry when you were ill David, I followed you progress,

Dharmavidya:  Bet you’re glad I didn’t die before you eventually met me 

Me: Yes, David, I am but not for my selfish reasons…

Adam and I dig out weeds in preparation to lay patio slabs.

Cappuccino coffee break.

Elja getting news that her operation could be cancelled because of a bug.

We await for more news.

We talk about having a bonfire tonight but we are all tired and after another tasty dinner we forget and all go to our beds early.

Day 3

Early walk in the woods for me followed by morning service in shrine room.

During  breakfast. news arrives about the Belgium bombings.

David is concerned for a friend who would normally be working in bomb area.

She was at home this day.

We are all shocked and concerned about the news. I must admit these events fill me with fear. Feeling blessed we are safe in this far away place.

After breakfast Adam and I carry on with our slabbing technic for the shed base. I talk a lot but Adam doesn’t seem to mind. I tease him and we laugh a lot about silly things. Mostly Essex girls as I am one . Life is so simple and easy here.

David starts shredding I help him with that also and soon we have a big pile of mulch.

David has a dentist appointment in town. I carry on with shredding.

It’s an idyllic environment to be in .

So many different things happen daily.

David is so interesting and has such wonderful stories.

Eleusis is mesmerising and it will be difficult to leave.

After dinner we have bonfire for Goddess Eirene.

Full moon.

A beautiful sight.

As the fire roars we chant . Shanti shanti paen Eirene

Lovely evening . peace to everyone.

Day 4

Today we all went to the market locally .

We had a lot of fun , I bought some fruit for my journey tomorrow.

Adam and I practised our terrible French.

I, always interrupting him ha ha !!

Elja bought some herbs and some violets.

We were luckily invited to lunch at Oasis with Annette.

Very nice meal.

Adam was birdwatching - mostly woodpeckers.

More hospital news for Elja.

Looks like she will not be going away now after all and I'm sure in a way she is happy with that.

Annette mentioned that there could be a place at Oasis. That’s food for thought for me on my way back home to the south.

Back at Eluesis Elja and I chatted in the kitchen as she made a gorgeous vegetable pie.

I love to see her so happy . She made puff pastry from scratch. One could see from her face how delighted she was to do this and we were very happy to show our appreciation with the finished article.

I thoroughly enjoyed my stay , such a warm welcome.

Nearly forgot the haircuts, trim for David , few inches off for Elja.

Thankyou to my Amida family for the most wonderful experience

Namo Amida Bu 

De Oceaan van Waarheid Weerspiegeld

De koan van Kapimala

Deze tekst is een vrije vertaling en bewerking van de tekst van David. De tekst is oorspronkelijk geschreven als een vervolg op het verhaal van Nagarjuna. Kapimala is de leraar van Nagarjuna, de grondlegger van het Mahayana Boeddhisme. De originele tekst van David is zo poëtisch dat ik in mijn vrije vertaling heb ik gekozen om een gedeelte van de tekst in dicht-vorm te verwoorden.

Kapimala (100 na Chr) is geboren in de Indische staat Magadha. Als jonge man was hij leraar in Brahmanisme en had hij drieduizend leerlingen. Hij had magische krachten en was ambitieus. Met zijn krachten was hij in staat van vorm en verschijning te veranderen en daarmee anderen te imponeren.

Op een dag ontmoette hij Ashvaghosha. Ashvaghosha was niet onder de indruk van Kapimala's krachten.

Kapimala wilde indruk maken en zei dat hij de het vermogen had om de grote oceaan te veranderen. Ashvaghosa vertelde hem dat hij meer geïnteresseerd was in het vinden van de oceaan van waarheid, de oceaan die Kapimala niet kon veranderen.

De vraag is:

Ben je opzoek naar de macht om de wereld te veranderen?

of

ben je bereid om te veranderen

en je te laten verrijken,

door de wereld?

Ontmoet je

de ander echt

of

vermijd je dat?

Wanneer je de ander echt ontmoet,

be- leef je

de ander,

en

be- leef je

jouw leven.

De oceaan van waarheid stroomt door je heen,

zonder dat je hierdoor iets

opmerkelijks wordt,

zonder verstrikt te raken in een

vaste vorm.

In de Samadhis van het Boeddhisme,

wordt alles waarheid,

iedereen wordt een Boeddha,

precies zolang

als het duurt.

Soms een Boeddha,

soms een Dwaas,

soms een Vreemdeling,

soms een Vriend,

dit is leegte.

Het is niet nodig om de ander te veranderen in een leerling en zijn meester te zijn.

Men wordt een echte leerling door zich zelf te worden.

Je ware zelf

is

een spiegel van alles

deze spiegel is leeg.

Al is

de spiegel

leeg,

er is altijd iets

in te zien.

En niet alleen

is er iets

in te zien,

zonder enige moeite van de spiegel,

is het hele universum

er in te vinden.

Zo is het met ons zelf.

De grootste leraar

is de beste leerling.

Later verspreidde Kapimala het Boeddhisme in Zuid en West India. Toen Kapimala op weg ging om Nagarjuna te ontmoeten, was hij simpelweg van plan een interessante man te ontmoeten. Hij had geen ambities of een intentie uit eigen belang. Paradoxaal genoeg leidde dit tot het feit dat Nagarjuna zijn leerling werd, omdat het exact deze leegte was die Nagarjuna zo nodig had.

Kapimala was niet langer ambitieus en vol van zich zelf toen hij een leerling van Ashvaghosa werd. Het was niet langer meer zijn verlangen om machtig te zijn, in plaats daarvan ontving hij de kracht van de oceaan van waarheid.

Gelukkig als dienaar wordt hij de meester.

I picked up a stone from a natural path which is not far from my home.

The stone is not very big. It seems to be a piece broken off a larger stone, as some of its borders are still sharp-edged. It is a little bit rough to the touch and leaves a fine dust on my fingers when touching it. Its surface is more or less flat because of the erosion of wear but you can notice the grain of its original texture.

I observe and touch it slowly. I appreciate dark areas and other redder ones. The more closely I look at it, the greater is the feeling of having a full mountain in my hands. I wonder whether there is really any difference  between this stone and any peak of the mountain range. If I was a molecule this stone would be the Universe for me.

I realize the huge amount of life that is unfolded in that stone that I cannot perceive through my senses, but that it is there from so many years ago.

I can hardly imagine its origin. I know it belonged to a larger piece. I know that water erosion has transformed it. I imagine a rock being moulded or the water drawing on it deeper grooves that become worn and create new forms; I imagine the cracks and the time of falling off. I imagine air and soil, worms and ants; and then man removing that land

Now cars are passing on it and also people, like me, are continuously passing by and being supported by it as  part of their path.

And, for me, this is surrender. In each moment it has served what the particular situation demanded from it. Each time you touch it, your fingers are filled with it. Each time a car wheel rolls over it, it takes away something from it, and the same will happen when the wind blows strongly. It will become dust, smaller  and smaller and finally, when it disappears completely, it will be everywhere.

That is surrender for me. You disappear in it because you give yourself completely in each moment, you become smaller in the world of form, but, paradoxically, without intending, your presence becomes huge and eternal.

I am going to put it back to the place I picked it up. This exercise has been enough to receive what it had for me. In this way, each time I pass by that path or each time I watch the stones closely I will remember the meaning of surrender.

I like that this stone becomes a ritual object that I can live outside my bedroom so as I can remember, each time I see or listen to stones under my feet, what surrender means to me and the opportunity of surrendering I have in each step.

When attention becomes adhimoksha, and the look is full of reverence, ritual occurs. Then the stone becomes my teacher and in front of such a special meaning my answer is gratitude and the most absolute respect.

I express all this joining my hands and bowing down before the stone.

For now I am calling this section The Event, I may come up with a better title later on. To write this section presented me with not only the challenge of the name but I've also had to tackle the problem of what to suggest to you for your exploration. I knew what questions I was answering for myself, I simply was not sure, or confident about, what they might be for others. In this case, my strategy for moving forward relied on the creation of the visual expression, or making art.

In Chapter I, with the Buddha seated in meditation, and the folks in the congregation all waiting in anticipation suddenly various phenomena occur. There is a beam of light which is emitted from the brow of the Buddha, there is the earth quaking, mandarava flowers begin raining down. As if the beam of light emitting from the head of the Buddha isn’t enough, this beam of light enabled people in the Saha World to see people in other worlds and the Buddhist and Bodhisattva practices they engaged in. Naturally this causes many in the crowd to be curious as to what was going on, what might happen next, how should these things be interpreted, and many more.

My original idea was to suggest exploring the idea of phenomena when you decided to make a commitment to practice the Lotus Sutra. This section of this chapter always reminds me of the night I decided to begin practicing the Lotus Sutra. There were so many memorable emotions at the time making it a powerful memory. That first night the room we were meeting in, the living room of a Marine and his wife in the base housing at Millington, TN. There were about 30 Marines there all chanting strongly, energetically, and intently. Simply being in a room with crammed with that many guys with all that 20-year old testosterone would have it’s own energy. As I am writing this, I realize that perhaps there were not exactly 30, so let’s consider it a figurative number. After the chanting was over, various guys got up and explained some general Buddhist concepts. Some got up and shared some of the things going on in their lives and how their Buddhist practice was working.

Recall if you will, that this was a low point in my emotional life. Just hours before I had no hope, I saw no future, and I felt powerless. Now I was in a room with guys my age, practicing Buddhism, something I was keenly interested for many years. Earlier in the evening before arriving, I was sad, depressed, and even lonely. Now, here were all these guys seemingly happy, surviving the collective hell of the Marine Corps, and all expressing hope and dreams for the future. This was a stark change in emotional landscapes. All of this would be memorable enough, yet it was in this context I decided to give Buddhism, or to give this group of guys a chance to help me change my life.

Thinking about this it would be easy to assume I was merely attracted to the positive energy or emotions of the meeting. It might be thought of the two options sadness or happiness it would be a clear choice, easy to make. I suppose there is some truth to that, yet for me it was more than that. In fact, I’m not sure before this writing I had ever articulated the contrasting emotional places. What I do remember is the feeling of ‘rightness.' The concepts they explained made perfect sense and were things I intuitively had felt for most of my life. The ideas, while bearing foreign labels, were not foreign concepts. There was no different thing for me to do fundamentally, other than beginning to practice chanting the sutra and the Odaimoku or sacred title.

I also recall vividly walking back to my barracks that evening with my Omandala tucked securely under my shirt. It was around 10 PM on an early cold December evening. The colors of the night were almost electric, bright, and surreal. The sky above was clear, and the stars shown brightly and seemingly within in arms reach. Now was that exactly how it was, I don’t know. This is my memory of the historical event. I do believe it is close to how it was, yet we can ever know the degree to which our emotions or feelings influence our memory and interpretation of events. The idea of this exercise is to begin to understand this and open up to cherishing these memories and becoming familiar with them so we can share with others the Lotus Sutra as it occurs in our lives.

That’s my story, now what about yours? My challenge here is not everyone will have such a stark contrasting memory of the moment of decision or commitment. Right now there are two high school students attending the temple services. For them, should they continue to practice for a long time into the future, their memory may be less dramatic. Their memory may be they simply eased into and then before long it simply was their life. For some, the memory may be in stages of first experimentally trying, then saying what the heck let’s do this thing. Some may still be in the trying or experimenting phase after numerous years.

Even in these circumstances, there are points of demarcation. There is always a point which can be used for reference. In my telling, I could talk about beginning to do the daily service in my space in the barracks and how awkward that was doing it by flashlight soundlessly so as not to disturb the other guys. I could also share how in the face of being threatened with loss of security clearance I had to make a choice between going to Vietnam immediately for not quitting my practice or the easy path of not being challenged because of my religious beliefs. Those and several others required of me to more concretely express and live according to my beliefs. For this, I chose the night I brought my Omandala home.

In your experience of practicing the Lotus Sutra is there a demarcation point, a point of reference, a point of a before and after? It need not be dramatic though it may be. Perhaps there was a spectacular occurrence, and you’ve never thought about it. Or you may have never given any thought to this at all. From my experience talking with people over the years, many people simply did not notice or even think much about it at all.

What I’m inviting you to do is to find a point, it can be any point in your continually evolving practice. Also, that point may change in the future, yet it is still a point, among many which are important to become aware of. Mindlessly we can occupy space ticking off the seconds and then die. Or we can say, wow, some really neat stuff has happened, I’ve done some cool things, and I want to remember them. Yea, we will also realize some crappy things as well, and we survived.

How has your earth quaked? What has the beam of light of the Lotus Sutra illuminated in your life? If the Buddha were you, what would you tell?

The ground for the art piece is page 35 from The Threefold Lotus Sutra published by Weatherhill/Kosei. I'm using the gatha section describing the mandarava flowers; the delight everyone felt in body and mind, and the coloring of all with gold. For this, I used collage, acrylic paint, and ink. You will see a dark blue sky overhead filled with stars. The Buddha ink drawing which doesn’t look much like a Buddha is probably a subconscious combination of the Gunnery Sargent, who invited me to my first meeting and the Buddha, yea let’s go with that. Over the image of the Buddha/not-Buddha written in gold is the portion I just shared. On the left edge is a group of guys, well they really are Buddhist priest reciting sutras. And as it mentions in the sutra all of this occurs from the Avichi Hells to the highest of heavens. So quite naturally I’ve got hell in there. Also, that night was a movement from hell to heaven without denying or avoiding the suffering of the hell of the Marine Corps. Over the top of everything, there is gold paint ‘illuminating’. Sadly sparkle and shiny don't photograph well, so you miss out on that.

I hope you have fun and remain curious as you consider this exercise. I welcome you comments and questions and sharing of your discovery.

One comment I hear from folks who attempt to read the Lotus Sutra is about the long listing of names at the very beginning. The list extends over two pages. Most of the people have asked what they were supposed to do with such a list. The names are weird, they are long, and frequently they are unpronounceable at least not in one breath or smoothly. Some have either proudly or in desperation laid claim to skipping the section altogether. They would skim ahead until it looked like some action was taking place and then re-engage with the scripture text.

If you are one of those people, guess what so was I when I made my first, second, third attempt to read the sutra straight through. I am sure there are some who soldiered on through or who with the aid of a study companion made it through in one pass. I’ve not met one, that however doesn’t mean one does not exist. Most people, myself included, either didn’t have or presently do not have a well-informed guide as they study. That has been one of my aims as I’ve published various books on the Lotus Sutra. The reality is most of the people who have been and who may become interested in Nichiren Buddhism do not live near a Nichiren Shu temple. I am not sure when those in higher up positions will awaken to this fact, so I plow on in the hopes it will be someday. I do hope someday there will be a coordinated and well-planed vision for the spreading of Nichiren Buddhism deep into the heartlands of the United States and other countries as well. For now, you and I are stuck doing it this way.

Hopefully, you’ve done some thinking about what your life was like before the first contact with the Lotus Sutra. Let me emphasize I’m talking about the Lotus Sutra specifically, not Buddhism in general or some other denomination of Buddhism. I do this because my single focus is on the Lotus Sutra and how that has manifested in your life. I am not responsible for other schools, nor do I know the details of what they taught or what your experience was. You are here now, and you are considering the Lotus Sutra and its practice. Yes, this is exclusive, but please do not feel I am discounting or disrespecting other schools or other teachings. I’m glad for you if you had that opportunity. I’m also aware most people do not, and that is where I’m beginning.

Who were you before the Lotus Sutra? Were you out of work, unhappy, discouraged, or hopeless? Or were you successful in your endeavors, reasonably secure in all aspects of your life, carefree, and firmly on your path to achieving all of your life goals? I am encouraging you to define in detail your story of the Sutra of Infinite Meanings, your pre-Lotus Sutra life. This will help you remember where you entered the stream of Lotus life.

You’ve done that I hope. I also am reminding you that it is intended to more than merely a recounting historical facts. I hope you will practice looking deeper, and to do so with brutal honesty. Sometimes we do need to be brutal with the notion of honesty. Often honesty doesn’t want to be tugged out from under the rock it is hiding behind. Honesty doesn’t like for you to see it, perhaps because it thinks it is ugly or shameful. In those cases, we will need to befriend honesty, help it understand that there is nothing for which we need be ashamed. Give honesty the assurance that it is useful and we need it to be present to us so we can change what needs changing. Offer it tea and cookies, invite it to a conversation at a nice coffee shop one which is clean quiet and perhaps a little funky. I know just the place in Portland, Oregon called Rimsky’s. My favorite coffee/tea/dessert place, but bring cash because they don’t accept cards.

The Lotus Sutra as I mentioned begins with naming a large group of people who are present with the Buddha while he sits in Samadhi I wonder who was in your life pre-Lotus Sutra? Who remained in your life after you began your practice and study? Did some of your friends or family abandon you? Was the transition difficult? Was there turmoil? Were the characters in your life supportive or not. If you were to draw this picture would there be a lot of people, would the picture be bright? Or would there only be a few individuals, and the tone of the image dark and dreary?

My picture would be perhaps me sitting on my rack[2] bed, the blanket I am sitting on is green, dark green. The wall locker that contains my entire life possessions other than my guitar and a few mementos which I left with my parents when I enlisted in the Marine Corps. There would be row after row of similar racks, some with other Marines sitting on them some not. There would be naked florescent lights hanging from the open bare wooden ceiling which was painted white. The setting was Memphis TN at the US Navy base in Millington TN. I had only recently arrived after my transfer from basic training. At the time boot camp and training after boot camp was a three-month long ordeal, perhaps I should in honesty say, Hell.

I had gone home after boot camp to spend the Thanksgiving holiday with my parents. My brother was stationed in California, also in the Marine Corps. My memory of him was someone who was exactly where he needed to be and who loved every minute of it. He did retire from the Marine Corps, did exceptionally well, exceeded everyone's expectations, and I believe found a certain level of happiness. Certainly he found respect, and I think he deserved it. I was not where I wanted to be nor where I felt I belonged. I was coerced into joining the Marine Corps. My choices were to flee to Canada, to go to jail for avoiding the draft, be drafted, or this new life in the Marine Corps for four more years.

The only thing I had done wrong was being draft eligible and a US citizen. When people thank me for my service it irritates me because I only did it because of coercion. The same thing continues to happen today with young folks enlisting because there are no jobs. Ok, I don’t want to get too far away from where I would like to go. You can see hopefully a little bit of who I was at the time, not just what I was doing.

The only friends I had were either getting stoned, going back to college after a summer of tripping and going to Woodstock. I was on the way to Woodstock, hitchhiking, taking lots of acid and some other chemical substances. I had one friend I was supposed to hook up with in Connecticut as we hitchhiked from New Orleans. He later said he didn’t know what happened until he got a letter from me from boot camp saying I was in the Marine Corps.

Since I had just transferred to Memphis less than two weeks before my first contact wth the Lotus Sutra, I had not developed any ties to any of the other guys; I had no friends. When you’re the new guy, it is tough to find your way into the established group, and being more of an introvert becoming embedded in groups was challenging.

In my picture of the moment, there would be a tall Gunny Sergeant walking through the barracks asking if anyone wanted to go to a Buddhist meeting and in that picture everyone from the front door to my rack would be pointing at me. They all knew. As I write this, I realize they knew more about me than I knew about any of them.

The picture changes when we move to my first contact with the Lotus Sutra. The previous painting or photograph would be dark, discouraging, forlorn, hopeless. Shift forward only a few hours and my life was forever changed. If I painted in florescent glowing plasma oozing colors, almost trippy acid colors it still would not quite be bright enough. Being in that room with roughly 30 guys, all Marines, crammed together, hot, even sweaty hot, and everyone chanting some strange phrase repetitively, it was a feeling which even now I can still feel the vibration, the energy, the opening of doors of hope, of joy, of a future.

I’ll leave off here with my story and shift to you and your story. How would you paint, write about, photograph, or sew your story. What would the quilt panel for this moment look like? Who would be the people you want to stand still as you take a group photograph? Would you be painting with bright, bold colors, or would they be similar to the colors of your life before with little change.

I look forward to hearing about your story, of seeing your story drawn, or seeing the quit panels as you create them. Perhaps you might think about illustrating a zine and serialize it. I could see this as a stick figure manga book. If you haven’t broken down any resistance to be creative, I hope you will now as we begin in earnest to enter the Lotus Sutra story.

Come on join with me won’t you? Again, you don’t need to share it publicly if you don’t want. If you did though share it with me I would be your biggest fan, and eagerly wait for the rest of your Lotus Sutra, the Lotus of your life.

David Brazier ~ vertaling Elja Stoel

Nagarjuna wordt gezien als een van de meest belangrijkste en invloedrijkste denkers in de geschiedenis van het Boeddhisme. Alle Mahayana scholen zien hem als de stichter van het Mahayana Boeddhisme. Aan de ene kant kan Nagarjuna gezien worden als een originele denker, zijn ideeën vormen de basis voor het essentiële gedachtegoed van Mahayana Boeddhisme; leegte, altruïsme en 'other-power'. Aan de ander kant kan hij simpelweg gezien worden als iemand die met grote vaardigheid de essentie van de leer van Shakyamuni Boeddha heeft herhaald en daarmee de richting van het Boeddhisme heeft gecorrigeerd en terug gebracht naar de juiste koers.

Playboy

Er zijn vele verhalen en legenden te vinden over Nagarjuna. Het verhaal gaat dat hij uit een rijke familie kwam en dat hij als jongeman min of meer bekend stond als een playboy. Op een dag besloot Nagarjuna met twee vrienden over de muur van het paleis van de Radja te klimmen om de haremvrouwen te kunnen zien. Volgens het verhaal hadden de drie mannen een manier gevonden om zichzelf onzichtbaar te maken. Ondanks dit feit werden de bewakers de mannen gewaar en zij zwaaiden met hun zwaarden in de lucht. De twee vrienden van Nagarjuna werden gedood door de bewakers. Dit ongeval had een grote impact op hem, en maakte hem neerslachtig en ernstig.

Ware natuur

Hij besloot zich tot een religieus leven te bekeren en hij begon te studeren. Hij bestudeerde vele religies in de hoop de zin van het leven te ontdekken. Hij was vooral geïnteresseerd in het vinden van zijn 'ware natuur'. Hij zag de ware natuur als een kostbare en eeuwige parel in de mens zelf. Langzaam aan werd hij zeer geleerd in religieuze onderwerpen. Hij was met name toegewijd aan zijn eigen, persoonlijke verlossing. Hij trok zich terug in een kluizenaarshut in de bergen.

Overwinnaar van draken

Op een dag reisde de Boeddhistische meester Kapimala (Japans: Kabimora) in de buurt van Nagarjuna's verblijf. De koning van de regio had Kapimala een hal gegeven op enige afstand van het paleis, waarin hij kon mediteren en les geven. Kapimala gaf les aan dieren en mensen. Op een dag gaf hij toevlucht aan een python. Van deze python hoorde Kapimala over Nagarjuna, die als een kluizenaar leeft in een afgelegen hut hoog in de bergen waar geen mensen zijn. Nagarjuna onderwees de dieren en de draken.

De naam Naga-arjuna betekent 'overwinnaar van draken'. Wanneer we een symbolische betekenis willen geven aan deze naam zou je kunnen zeggen dat Nagarjuna tijdens zijn zoektocht naar zijn ware natuur, zich bezig hield met het de baas worden van zijn eigen draken.

Ontmoeting met Kapimala

Kapimala ging op bezoek bij Nagarjuna. Toen de mannen elkaar zagen, vroeg Nagarjuna zich af of Kapimala een echte verlichte meester was en of hij inderdaad de parel gevonden had. Kapimala besefte wat er omging in Nagarjuna en zei tot hem dat hij zich geen zorgen moest maken over zijn verlichte staat, maar dat hij zelf, Nagarjuna een toegewijde monnik moest zijn.

Nagarjuna ondervroeg Kapimala om te ontdekken of hij de parel bezat die hij zocht. Kapimala bezat inderdaad de parel en Nagarjuna wilde alles weten over haar verschijningsvorm. Kapimala zei dat de parel met niets te vergelijken is. De parel kan elke vorm aannemen. De juwelen van de gewone wereld hebben allerlei verschijningsvormen en zijn daarom geen echte juwelen, maar de Dharma parel gaat voorbij alle vaste vormen.

Toegewijd

De betekenis van het gesprek tussen Nagarjuna en Kapimala is dat een echte, toegewijde monnik, vanuit het oogpunt van Kapimala, iemand is die anderen helpt en die bereid is om alles te doen wat nodig is om de ander te helpen. Een toegewijde monnik is niet iemand die al zijn tijd besteed aan het najagen van zijn eigen verlichting, eigen boeddha-natuur, eigen realisaties, piek ervaringen of meer van die dingen. Ook is hij niet iemand die al zijn draken verslagen heeft of zo nodig een heilige moet worden.

Kostbare parel

Nagarjuna wil weten of Kapimala gedaan heeft wat hij probeerde te realiseren – zelfmeesterschap en 'boeddha-schap' bereiken. Maar Kapimala zei: “Het doet er niet toe of ik een heilige ben of niet. Wat er wel toe doet is of je een toegewijde monnik bent en stop met het najagen van je eigen spirituele ambitie. De parel die je hoopt te vinden is niet de parel waar je nu naar zoekt. Ook al is het het waar dat deze parel de meest kostbare in de wereld is, het is ook waar dat heel de wereld deze parel is. 

Dit betekent voor de ware monnik dat er niets in deze wereld is dat buiten de Dharma valt, er is niets dat niet van betekenis is, of een goede reden kan zijn, om levende wezens te bevrijden.

Leegte

Nagarjuna was in grote mate verlicht door deze ontmoeting met Kapimala. Kapimala die zelf overduidelijk niet gaf om het feit of men hem zag als verlicht of niet en die reeds in het bezit was van de kostbare parel zonder gefixeerde, concrete verschijningsvorm.

Dit idee van vormloosheid werd een centraal thema in de toekomstige leer van Nagarjuna. Hij noemde dit leegte (shunyata). Hij zag dat alle systemen van rationele ideeën, zelfs Boeddhistische ideeën, onsamenhangend worden wanneer je deze tot een ultieme conclusie tracht te brengen. Op deze manier kon dit nooit een goede basis zijn voor het soort van zelfbevestiging waar hij al die tijd naar op zoek was geweest.

Oorzaak en Gevolg

Boeddhisme in zijn algemeenheid houdt zich bezig met oorzaak en gevolg, maar er is niet te zeggen dat iets volledig veroorzaakt wordt door iets anders nog dat het niet veroorzaakt wordt door iets anders. Er is een essentiële vrijheid.

Ook al lijken deze ideeën ontologisch (voortkomend uit de zijns-leer) Nagarjuna beschouwd ze als soteriologisch (voortkomend uit de verlossingsleer)

Spiritueel materialisme ontmanteld

Zoals zo veel andere grote verlichte wijzen kunnen we zien dat Nagarjuna's verlichte staat in twee fasen is verlopen. Zijn eerste verlichtingservaring vindt plaats na de dood van zijn vrienden. Hij stuit op vergankelijkheid op een manier die diep ingrijpt. Op dit punt in zijn leven geeft hij zijn oude manier van leven op en wijdt hij zich aan zijn religieuze leven. Hij maakt zich een methode eigen waarmee hij zijn eigen verlossing hoopt te bereiken. Uiteindeljk heeft hij zijn ontmoeting met Kapimala die hem doet inzien dat zijn weg van 'self-power' de plank mis slaat.

Nu was Nagarjuna zelf een grote verlichte meester geworden -misschien wel een van de grootste in het Boeddhisme, alleen de Boeddha zelf was groter – omdat hij zich realiseerde hoe subtiel illusie kan zijn. Hij zag zijn eigen spirituele materialisme en sindsdien vind je in zijn leer de meest indrukwekkende ontmanteling van dit soort zelf rechtvaardigende rationalisatie uit de hele Boeddhistische filosofie.

Fundamenten van Mahayana Boeddhisme

Nagarjuna's inzichten zijn de fundamenten van het Mahayana Boeddhisme. Er wordt gezegd dat hij door de diepten van de oceaan reisde en de Prajna Paramita literatuur van de koning van de draken (Nagas) ontving. Wanneer we dit psychologisch interpreteren kunnen we zeggen dat hij zijn onderbewuste onderzocht en in plaats van de parel te vinden, waarna hij dacht te zoeken (dat zou een soort van ultieme zelfrechtvaardiging zijn) kwam hij uit bij Shunyata, de essentie van Prajna Paramita, volledige vrijheid van gehechtheid aan 'self-power'.

Shunyata en Svabhava

Shunyata, in Nagarjuna's filosofie, is het tegengestelde van Svabhava. Je kan een grote hoeveelheid aan moderne literatuur vinden over deze twee concepten. De meeste literatuur is vooral geschreven vanuit een ontologisch, in plaats van een soteriologisch perspectief. Mijn suggestie is dat hiermee iets essentieels gemist wordt. Er is een grote hoeveelheid aan academische discussies over Svabhava. In deze discussies wordt vaak aangenomen dat Svabhava duidt op een zelf-bepalende essentie in objecten in de wereld. Ik ben van mening dat Svabhava eenvoudigweg een ander woord voor self-power is. De originele leer gaat over soteriologie (verlossings-leer) en niet over ontologie. (zijns-leer)

Sva betekent 'zelf ' en Bhava betekent 'worden'. Nagarjuna heeft geprobeerd een heilige te worden tot hij Kapimala ontmoette. Hij hoopte door een heilige te worden de passie te blussen die zijn vrienden had gedood en zoveel dood en verderf in zijn eigen leven had gebracht. Kapimala was in het bezit van het Dharma-juweel, maar was niet geïnteresseerd in het feit of hij een heilige was of niet. Het zelf-creatie project (svabhava) was slechts een bijkomstigheid.

Other-power

Veel van Nagarjuna's geschriften zijn geschreven in de meeste extreme vorm van abstractie en hierdoor breed toepasbaar. De meest relevante toepasbaarheid is die op het persoonlijke spirituele pad.

Wanneer Nagarjuna zegt dat er niets is, dat opkomt vanuit zichzelf en hij ook zegt dat iets opkomt uit iets anders, dat niet zich zelf is, klinken beide uitspraken onlogisch. Hij zegt onder andere dat men niet volledig spiritueel ontwaakt op eigen kracht, en wanneer je ontwaakt door een ontmoeting met een ander – zoals hij – je niet die persoon wordt, of identiek aan deze persoon. Het spiritueel ontwaken van een ieder is uniek en toch niet onafhankelijk. Men vertrouwt op 'other-power'. Je wordt niet de ander, je bent niet de ander en toch is wat je wordt niet onafhankelijk van die ander ontstaan.

Ultieme doelen in het alledaagse leven
Nagarjuna's shunyata is vrijheid binnen voorwaarden, niet omdat deze voorwaarden vrijheid begrenzen, maar omdat deze voorwaarden de schitterende parel zijn, ze zijn de actieve substantie die we Dharma noemen, de verschijning van Nirwana in de wereld. Men kan altijd naar de geconditioneerde verschijningen kijken en de relatieve waarheid zien (pravritit), of men kan kijken naar de onvoorwaardelijke of absolute waarheid (paramartha). Om het spirituele leven te leiden heb je beide nodig. Hier is weer een praktisch punt over het spirituele leven. Om het ultieme doel te dienen, moet je als toegewijde monnik, zoals Kapimala dit uitdrukt, alle gewone omstandigheden inzetten. Religie gaat over ultieme doelen te midden van het alledaagse leven.

Eenvoudig of moeilijk

Volgens het Reine Land Boeddhisme was het ook Nagarjuna die het initiatief nam voor het idee van een eenvoudige weg en een moeilijke weg. Weer kunnen we zien hoe dit is gerelateerd aan zijn eigen leven en ervaring. De moeilijke weg is te vergelijken met wat hij probeerde te bereiken in zijn kluizenaarsverblijf in de bergen; proberen zijn menselijke natuur te bestrijden en zijn draken te verslaan. Dit is svabhava, 'self-power', en dit is, zoals hij zei, zo moeilijk als het te voet beklimmen van de Himalaya bergen zonder enige hulp. De eenvoudige weg is de weg waar men de strijd om persoonlijke perfectie opgeeft, het juweel ontvangt, van harte gegund door de Boeddha's en men een leven leidt in vertrouwen, de Dharma aanschouwend in alle omstandigheden van het leven. In plaats van het Himalaya gebergte te voet beklimmen kan je dit vergelijken met het zeilen van een boot.

Ikka no Myoju

Eeuwen later viel Zen meester Gensa op door het citaat “ Het hele universum in tien richtingen is een schitterende parel” en hij gebruikte deze uitdrukking om het begrip van zijn studenten te testen. Degene die starten met de beoefening van de spirituele weg zijn vaak zoals de jonge Nagarjuna, denkend dat zij de parel in hun zelf kunnen vinden, maar net als Dogen zegt “Ikka no Myoju - “Aangezien de geest niet persoonlijk is, waarom zullen we ons zorgen maken of we een schitterende parel bezitten of niet, zelfs deze zorgen zijn niet te onderscheiden van deze ene schitterende parel.

Zeal, Vigor, Mindfulness, Discernment, Single-Mindedness

These Five Implements were presented by Chih-i in his "Essentials for Practicing Calming and Insight and Dhyana Meditation"

Zeal - Zeal - First a person much possess the desire, the willingness to change something.  Without this aspiring to change there is no initial cause for implementation.

Vigor - Next a person must approach the task with effort, and a willingness to accomplish the task without letting up. Not being afraid to challenge the root causes which may be the most difficult. Unrelenting adherence to the Six perfections, the Eightfold Path even when it seems most difficult or most discouraging.

Mindfulness - Generation of a mind that is able to see what is based upon reality and what is based on our interpretation. A mind that is aware that there are noble acts and acts that are to be avoided. Develop a mind that is free from the outflowsof impurity. Being awake in the moment and aware.

Discernment - Discrimination of action based on mindfulness. To make critical judgments about what is wise. Assessments of value and achievements against what will be lost or unattainable by acting a certain way. It isn't always a case of clear-cut choices, sometimes there is only choices between two unpleasant courses, which will yield the greatest potential for future better choices.

Single-Mindedness - Achieving a focus that prohibits us from being distracted and side-tracked. Making a single-minded effort to cultivate one's mind so that no thing can interfere with our efforts.

Photo: Geese at night with their young in Obihiro Hokkaido Japan 2006