Last night I slept and slept and slept in the oblivion of swoon induced by pain killers. It did me good. Staff came and went waking me for blood pressure checks, to take blood, to give injections, take temperature and so on and I would be roused briefly and then drift away again. Having slept little the night before, it was what my body needed. After a brief breakfast I drifted away again. At some point I registered that my blood pressure has dropped, presumably indicating that the rat poison is working. Various other small bodily intuitions also suggest that this is so. The itching from my allergic reaction has spread but diminished in intensity. I don't know if this is a result of the underlying condition reducing or of the anti-inflamatory drugs working, but it is certainly pleasanter to have this measles-like condition becoming less fierce.
Come to light
Around 10am they came and took me to another clinic on the ground floor of the hospital for another examination. This was to check my arteries. The body scan a few days ago threw up a very small aneurism of my aorta and this examination was a follow through. After making a range of tests the doctor declared that the arteries in my legs are functioning normally. It makes a pleasant change to find a bit of my physical system that is in good working order! One of the things about coming into hospital is that everything gets checked and problems that one would otherwise have remained ignorant of until they became more serious come to light. Since I have been here I have had serious problems with lungs, veins, skin, bones, and legs so it was certainly nice to hear a bit of good news – leg arteries all normal. Of course, there are any number of illnesses that I don't have!
With this bit of good news and a decent night's sleep I was in better spirits to meet Annette from Oasis and Elja who were both waiting for me when I was returned to my bed. I certainly felt a great deal better than I had done yesterday. A happy moment. They brought the good news that Adam is already on his way to Eleusis to assist, that two of my children are coming very soon and that Susthama, my jissha, is coming with her family. Eleusis is suddenly going to be full of people and I am very much lifted by the thought of seeing them. We discussed accommodation and co-operation between Oasis and Eleusis – it is so good to have such a happy relationship with our Buddhist neighbours.
Elja had brought me some books from my library and also a parcel of more books from Carol – all very welcome. I do not have a lot of energy but reading is certainly a good consolation when one is in this situation. I am hoping that the worst is now past. Of course, one never knows. It is as yet difficult to assess what my physical capacities will be when this is all over. Certainly the experience is a good lesson in acceptance. We often say that one of the advantages of the nembutsu practice is that one can do it anywhere and here lying in a hospital bed is a good place.
Thank you for the message that you sent me while I was in hospital. Very supportive. I'm glad that we connected at Metanoia and it is very good to be connected here too. I am home now and gradually getting used to what is and is not possible. I'm so glad that you recovered well from your own hospital episode and I hope you are full of good health now. These experiences are sobering and give us a deeper perspective on life even though we would rather not have to endure them. Do know that i am very happy for us to be in contact in this way so that our lives may go on supporting one another. My very best wishes to you. David
Barbara Jukes (Barbs) said:
Glad you have had some better news and that you will soon have company of family and sangha in Eleusis namo amida bu much love modgala
Your post reminded me of my stay in hospital nearly 4 years ago to remove a brain tumour (the size of a lemon) I thought my end was nigh. The nurses woke me during the night to take my blood pressure, give me drugs and to take blood, when all I wanted to do was sleep! I'm here, and healthy and loving life. I was so happy to meet you David, at Metanoia, in January. We went for lunch, with others, and afterwards in the experiential part of the session, you leaned towards me. Maybe a small gesture for you, but a hugely significant and important one for me. I had read some of your work before and have read more since. You have impacted my life and I am changed for having met you. I hope to meet you again in the future.
Much love and best wishes. Barbs
It's wonderful to hear that you've had a bit of good news & been able to get a nights sleep Dharmavidya. And also that you will soon be having many visitors. I'm keeping you in my prayers.. Namo Amida Bu
Sending you & Elja much love
Wonderful to read some good news and to see you - spiffy stockings!!! Wish James and I could be at Eleusis to greet you when you finally get out of hospital. Perhaps we can help out a little further down the line.
Desde Ozaeta , Laura , la gata y yo nos alegramos mucho de que te vayas sintiendo mejor- Un beso y un fuerte abrazo
Lovely to see a picture of you Dharmavidya, and this really beautiful light seeping through the window! Familiar picture, you and your laptop. Touching and bringing a smile to my face.