What has this last month held? Images of life at La Ville au Roi come to me…
When I first came spring had barely arrived, most trees and bushes were starkly black only some showing a glimmer of green.
Slowly but surely the green spreads and a haze of white coats the blackthorn.
Typical April weather of sunshine and showers (and some very rainy days) nourishes the plant life.
The animals emerge too. Little lizards scurry about on the walls when the sun shines. Adam spots a beautiful large green lizard almost totally camouflaged on an ancient stone wall dappled by the shadow of blackcurrant branches. Last night Adam awoke to chomping sounds and found a hedgehog gnawing at the bench in his room!
The birds make merry singing their hearts out and squabbling over the best nesting materials, the doves coo and the owls call out though the night. The cuckoo weaves his spell as his calls offer up his deceit to the waking world.
As I dig there is a soft shhhh coming and going from the Bamboo waving in the wind, the tall tops bent over from the prevailing westerlies.
But the weather is not always from the west. Sometimes we feel the struggle as different weather systems try to gain control. The wind comes sometimes from the East cooling my back as I dig, while above me the clouds are scudding in from the West. Sometimes the clouds darken and become ominous and in the distance lightning flashes and thunder rolls.
Amidst it all the Cherry blossom slowly reveals its pink white beauty as the weather warms.
MODGALA's 6th APRIL: BACK HOME IN FRANCE
JOSEPHINE's 25th MARCH: MY VISIT
DAMIAN's 22nd FEBRUARY: WEEK IN FRANCE: JUST AS YOU ARE
And yet there is beauty too in the crisp white frost that adorns the grasses when chilly nights follow azure days.
However life is real here it can be bittersweet. We all feel sad when we see the flowering cherry has dry and dropping new foliage and we find that the attacking virus means we have to cut it down and burn it to protect our other cherry trees.
Our domestic world continues within the unfolding story of the natural world around us.
I write this piece in between cracking the walnuts that have come from the ancient walnut tree that is the backdrop to our outside breakfast table.
How lovely it is to wake to Adam’s already laid breakfast table and coffee in the pot.
We share our breakfasts beneath the walnut tree or snuggled in our kitchen on chilly or rainy days.
Some days begin with us wrapped up in layers in morning service paying homage to all the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas in our meditation hall, the sound of our chanting sometimes rivalled by the chattering birdlife around the entrance.
Dharma discussions round the breakfast table also start our days, often influenced by Dharmavidya’s writing about Dogen Zenje or the Tao.
And sometimes continue as we enjoy Elja’s cappuccinos in the midday sun.
In the evening often wood fire warmth surrounds us after chilly days working the land.
I am thoroughly enjoying Eljas cooking and then being cook for others – such a pleasure compared to my more solitary existence back in London.
Sometimes I spend time digging and meditating in the soft evening light.
Beautiful, but all too often these meditations contain struggles with my complaining self!
Oh how I longed for a hot bath. Oh how I wished I was my younger self able to work long hours on the land without all these arthritic pains. Etc. etc…
Being on retreat opens a window to one’s inner machinations and these are more uncomfortable than the actual physical realities!
The digging helps bring my body and mind back together; and, as I am engrossed in preparing the land for growing the food for the summer and autumn and beyond, my mind calms and I am once again back with reality. Maybe a little wiser, sometimes sadder but more often lighter and happier.
Often I find myself chanting – Namo Omito Fo, Namo Amitabha and in the evening light often Om Amitabha Hum. One glorious sunset takes me back to the beginning twenty years ago, chanting in a field with my new Amida friends and my 21 year old daughter, feeling the sense of loss as I prepared to travel back to Scotland.
I especially love chanting in our open Hall and then the quiet that follows; the old stone walls almost holding the chant within them. One night our evening service by candle light is disturbed by the angry squawks from the pigeon discovering us invading his favoured roost. I had to giggle.
There is much laughter here amongst our enlivening discussions.
We also talk much about our amitarya life and future possibilities. It is lovely to have two potential new amitaryas within our very special and diverse Amida Order.
I cherish and share returning memories of my last twenty years of times at La Ville au Roi and my returns to its base from my travels.
And here I am again, lucky to be alive in this beautiful world.
And here thank goodness is my teacher recovering from his brush with death, sometimes looking strong and sometimes vulnerable as his body recovers.
Yet his mind is strong as he shares his thoughts and writings with us and as I listen I feel my mind opening and understandings growing - Understanding of the Buddhas teachings and of the workings of the world as we look at the world beyond our retreat.
I know I will go back into the hurly burly of London life and my organisational work there with renewed vigour.
Thank you Amida thank you Dharmavidya
Namo
Amida
Bu
Replies
Beautiful written Modgala, thank you, I was at Eleusis for a moment, while I was reading. Make me feel missing you all and Eleusis too.... Sent you lots of love.