SATURDAY 4 Mar ~ On my own

I am not sure if this is news or not but it feels pretty important to me so I thought I would share it here.

I have travelled to Amida Mandala in Damian's little sports car all by myself and have left him (daddy-Damo) with our two small children. Selena just turned five on Wednesday and Has two birthday parties this weekend which would have been awful had she not been able to go, so I was granted the opportunity to come here (Malvern) all by myself.

There is something both terrifying and exciting in doing so. The first bit of excitement which I wasn't prepared for was how to look after a very old car. After three trips back into our flat to find out how to open the hood of the engine, because the bonnet is just storage, and the engine is at the back, and then again to find out whether the Evian bottle in the boot was the water for the radiator which it wasn't because it was the pink water behind the passenger seat, and then to get 50pence so that I could put air in the tyres. That set me back about 15 minutes and then to the garage to put petrol in, which was easy, but of course the air machine was broken, so I drive away hoping that the tyres will be ok. Anyway, I stopped after 5 minutes because the oil light comes on and even though Damian thought it would be ok he did say to check it but I didn't so I thought uh-oh, I better check...and it was ok. So I drive off again, joined the motorway and I hear a click and see that the bonnet which I had opened earlier is rattling away. So I slow down and hope that I can pull off soon before the worst thing ever could happen...that I am the one to damage his car. But of course there isn't a services for another half an hour and I am now chanting, but not what you would expect me to be chanting. I am praying that the hood doesn't fly up and that I make it safely to the next services. Which I do in the end, and I even manage to put air in the tyres which were down to 23 psi and brought them back up to 32 psi and slammed the bonnet down twice just to make sure that it was closed properly!

And then I was off, wondering if it would have been better to stay at home than to go off on an adventure in Damian's car. And also wondering how the birthday party went, which wasn't your normal bday party but a pool party. And Damian is a nervous swimmer so I look forward to hearing his adventures in the swimming pool.

But the rest of the drive was quite pleasant. There was a rainbow, the third rainbow, on our travels over to Malvern in the las year, and when I arrived a lovely warm supper was waiting for me and then Emma came out of her Nembutsu retreat. And I am now in the room that she was chanting in and feeling the lovely energy leftover from her chanting. And then I attended Kaspa's Dharma talk and was able to sit quietly and listen without anyone pulling my hair or crying or needing me.

And I am able to write about my experience here without anyone interrupting me or chores waiting to be done. I think I have arrived in the Pureland and yes, I am counting my blessings!

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  • It was lovely to see you over the weekend but very strange for you to be without your family I hadn't realised you had had such an adventure on your journey to Malvern. Shiro is nearly 22 now but your words have transported me back 20 years to how I felt when leaving him for my first weekend away without him
    Namo Amida Bu xx
  • Yes, but actually I knew it all along. It was Damian that needed convincing. :) and he did really well to forget himself. So we put them to bed early and easily and watched Star Wars. He is full of smiles too.
  • ... or even forget yourself while you enjoy the journey.

  • Dear Susthama,
    Thank you for this lovely piece. That extraordinary moment when you realize that the people who matter most to you in the world can actually manage on their own for a few days and you can catch your breath and look around and remember yourself. May you move from one pureland to the next when,m heading home, you arrive renewed. Namo Amida Bu.
  • Good to hear from you and who knows, maybe I will go to France on my own one day. Haha
  • Glad to follow your adventurous drive in a sports car! Glad above all that you arrived safely at Malvern! You will be happy to be back home again and what a warma welcome you will get! Lots of love to you and your family! I have very fond memories of your short stay at Oasis! Hope to see you all again... soon! Namo Amida Bu!

  • Very nice. Namo Amida Bu.

  • Be present and enjoy. Its good getting presents!

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